Stop Touching the Freaking Doughnuts!

I've talked about how important it is to get to the doughnuts early in the morning. I'm not just saying shit just to say it; I'm really concerned about your overall well-being.

Anyways, this customer comes in every morning and gets a dozen doughnuts for his church. Personally, I can't stand the guy because he's a liar and has tried to steal before.

But I hate when he comes in and gets doughnuts because he will pick the dozen out with his fingers and not use a napkin or tissue or anything.

He did it again the other day. I watched as he grabbed a few doughnuts, licked his fingers to get the powdery sugar stuff off, and then grabbed some more to put in the box. I kinda feel sorry for the people at his church that unknowingly eat these doughnuts this guy has just touched. For all we know he could have been picking his nose or scratching his balls before he walked in the store.

I want to say something to him, like "Grab a fucking paper tissue" or something, but I'm afraid of him. He's got those crazy eyes and I think he would curse me under his breath if I said anything to him.

So instead I just stand there and watch and think about all those poor praying people that eat these doughnuts he touches. Maybe I'll slip a secret note into the collection plate next time. I guess I'm glad I don't go to church because then I'd be eating a slimy doughnut.