The After Holiday Blues

I hate going to work the day after a holiday.

Why?

Because then I have to answer a million questions that are all the same: "How was your Thanksgiving?"

At the beginning of the day I start out all smiley telling customers how my Thanksgiving was. By the middle of the day I give shorter answers but ask them how theirs was so I don't have to talk much.

By the end of my shift I'm giving one-word answers, and not even asking them how theirs was.

It's not the customers fault (this time), I just get tired of answering the same questions all day long.

It's like when I say 'Good morning' to people and I hear 'What's so good about it?'. I hear that about a thousand times a day, too.

It's gotten so that I just say 'Morning' to people just so I don't have to hear that comment.

It doesn't help that I hate the holidays too. I hate having to be all smiles during the Christmas season. And Christmas music? Don't even get me started on it.

I hate a lot of things, don't I?

Air Machine Woes

I really hate old people sometimes.

This old man came in the other day yelling about our air machine.

Old Fart: "Is there something wrong with your air machine? Because it's supposed to last three minutes and it sure as hell didn't because I didn't have time to fill up my tires."

Inwardly I rolled my eyes. This guy was so old it probably took him three minutes to just bend down.

Me: No, I haven't heard anybody tell us anything was wrong with it.

So instead of responding to me, he turns to my mom, who just happened to be visiting at the time.

Old Fart: You need to fix your air machine. Air used to be free here and now you charge 75 cents!!!

Me: That's because people kept breaking the machine so we hired a company that provides the air now. We don't have anything to do with it.

Well this guy wasn't going to listen to anything. He kept yelling at my mom, who DOESN'T EVEN WORK THERE.

Me: Do you want me to give you 75 cents of my own money to put into the machine?

I figured the asshole would say no.

Old Fart: Yes.

So I dug into my purse, found 75 cents and told him to follow me outside. He started back up with his complaining.

Old Fart: You know, in my day air didn't cost anything and we could fill our tires up as much as we wanted.

I put the 75 cents into the machine and turned to him. "You know what? I put my own money in here so you'd stop complaining, so please, just fill up your tires and leave," I said as I stormed away.

I don't get what part of "We have nothing to do with the air machine" he didn't understand. And why was he yelling at my mom? He's lucky I didn't punch him in his wrinkly old ball sack.

Educating the Customers

Another day, another douchebag.

I can't stand when customers pick on my co-workers.

The other day this regular customer walks in. I don't like him just because there's something about him that pisses me off.

So he comes in the store with another man that I've never seen before. The mystery man is talking to my co-worker and asking her questions:

Mystery Man: Did you graduate high school? (Like it's any of his business)

Co-worker: No.

So the regular customer pipes up: See, she's what you call a drop-out. You're a high school drop-out. You won't get any better job than this one.

Sadly, I wasn't there when this happened. If I was, I probably would have told him to go fuck himself with his high school diploma.

Unfortunately, we get this all the time. Customers always think it's their business to find out how far we've gotten with our education. And when I tell them I have a Bachelor's Degree, they ask "why the hell do you work here then?" or "What, you couldn't get a better job than this one?"

My answer? "None of your business."

And this is why when you get home those Twinkies you bought are smashed.

Double Counting Money

Whenever a customer hands me money, I always recount it in front of them before I put it in the register. There have been way too many times that I immediately threw a $5 or $10 bill into the register only to have the customer tell me they gave me a larger bill.

So now, I count everything out. Especially when a customer hands me $15 in $1 bills.

One of our regulars came in the other day buying beer. His total was $14.75 and he handed me 15 $1 bills. I started counting them.

Customer: Oh, I guess you don't trust me, so you have to recount it.

Me: I recount everything, it has nothing to do with trusting you or anything.

Customer: It's all there, you don't have to count it.

Me: Yes, I do.

Customer: So you don't trust me then.

Me: No, I guess I don't.

Customer: Well maybe I should shop at a place where I'm trusted.

Me: Are you serious? You're getting mad because I'm recounting your money to double check that it's all there?

Customer: Well I wouldn't lie to you.

Me: You know what, next time don't pay me in singles.

What does he expect really? Do people think I will take their word for how much money they give me and just let them walk out the door?

Does anyone have any idea how much money people short us? Tons of people will throw bills or coins on the counter, yell out how much gas they want, and leave the store. While we're counting it we discover that they short-changed us.

Let your cashier take the extra time to count out your money. Who knows, maybe you gave the cashier too much money and they will give it back to you. Or not. If you rush out of the store and you gave me $1 too much or something, I'm not running outside to you after you didn't even have the courtesy to wait around for me to count it.

Sticking Up for the Drunks

I worked night shift the other night and you know what makes me mad?

Well, pretty much everything, but this is specific.

When I see a drunk person drive up and walk into the store, one that can barely stand and is wobbling all over the place, I will call the cops on them.

It doesn't bother me one bit if you are drunk and have someone else driving you. It's if you are driving yourself and are in my store buying more beer. Or even cigarettes. Or anything. You shouldn't drive drunk. Period.

But what really gets me is the other customers in the store. If I'm on the phone with the police, calling this drunk in, some customers will tell me to "give the guy a break" or "that's mean, why call the cops on him?"

I'm trying to get the damn drunk off the road. I don't think these customers would like it if this drunk asshole killed someone in their family. It just pisses me off sometimes that people butt in like that and try sticking up for a drunk driver.

It still doesn't deter me from calling the cops though. I just wish I could tell them to mind their own fucking business.

Giving Back Change

Kathy over at The Junk Drawer brought up an interesting topic yesterday.

When giving back change, she urges cashiers all over the world to make sure they place the coins in the customer's hand BEFORE the bills are handed over. Why? Because many people spill their coins all over the place while attempting to put them in their purse or pockets.

So I asked myself what I usually do in this situation and whether or not I was guilty of what Kathy had described. And I realized that I DO give customers their coins first before their bills. The ones I like, at least.

When someone pisses me off, I tend to throw it all in their hand at once, causing the coins to spill all over the place. A little "Oops, sorry" along with my winning smile keeps me innocent and unsuspecting.

But I'd like to ask all customers out there to make it easy for us cashiers.

If you want your coins handed back to you, make sure you don't already have a ton of shit in your hand where we have to carefully place the coins in your hand. We don't want to touch you, we just want to be able to drop the coins into your open palm. If you are holding stuff in that hand, it makes us hard to drop the coins. Me, I do it anyways, and watch as the coins drop onto your keys and then onto the floor. Why? Because you shouldn't have had so much crap in your hands when I handed back your change.

If we can both work together here, I think we could end up with a wonderful relationship.

Customers and T-Shirts

Working at a gas station, I basically have to make sure I wear plain shirts with no pictures or writing on them. Why? Because every single customer will make a comment about it.

Here's a typical scenario:

Me: Good morning, sir. How can I help you?

Customer: *peering at my t-shirt* Old Navy...what's that? Are you in the military?

Me: Umm, no. It's a t-shirt from a store called Old Navy.

Customer: Well why is there a picture of a tree on it?

Me: I don't know, I just bought it like that.

Customer: *peering again* Old Navy...with a tree. That's weird.

Me: *wishing I was anywhere but here*

Usually I think the male customers 'pretend' to read my t-shirt so that they can take a glance at my boobs. Whatever they are doing, it makes me feel all dirty and violated when they look at my shirt.

So I've learned to wear plain shirts and sweaters, because 9 out of 10 customers will make comments about them.

I should get one made that says something like 'Stop staring at my tits, you pervert" or "Just buy your shit and get out" or "STOP STARING AT ME".

Hmm, I may be on to something here. What else could I get on a t-shirt to get my message across?

Halloween

Halloween was pretty much uneventful at the store this weekend. There is one thing I don't understand though that happens every year.

Some people get so pissed off that we won't sell them alcohol or cigarettes if they are wearing a mask or face paint.

Why would someone get mad about this? The cashier obviously can't see your face to tell if you're old enough. What are we supposed to do, use our x-ray vision?

It's usually the teens that get the angriest at us. We had a girl come in on Halloween that started yelling at my co-worker because he wouldn't sell her beer. She had a devil costume on complete with red facepaint.

She told us that we should have had a sign on the door specifying to take off masks or facepaint or else she wouldn't have come in. She looked 12 in her slutty devil outfit. After she left I put a sign on the door, but we still had people come in getting mad about having to take off their masks.

I honestly wish that everyone in the world was required to get a job in customer service at least once in their lives. That way they would understand how horrible working with the public can be.

Other Customers Around the City

I find it funny when I see rude customers when I'm out shopping.

I was at the bank the other day and there was a woman in the drive-thru. Well the inside of the bank was busy, so this woman outside was waiting for a little bit. When one of the bank tellers finally got to her, she said "Is there only one of you working today? What's the problem in there?"

And the poor bank teller apologized and was actually nice to her. To her face. Once she turned around toward us, she started making comments about the customer. If I were the bank teller, I would have told the woman to fuck off and go somewhere else. And then that would be the end of my bank teller career.

Then yesterday, I was at a store and was waiting in a long line. There was a woman in front of me that kept sighing incessantly. There was a problem with the woman in front of her, something with needing the manager, which was why we were all stopped in line. So this woman in front of me starts yelling at the cashier asking "What's taking so long?" and "Don't you know what you're doing?". The cashier kept his cool (what is with this new breed of shy/nice cashiers?) and just shrugged his shoulders at her.

I wanted to take the bag of frozen fish sticks I bought and slap her in the throat with it.

I guess I should be grateful for the crappy customers I have instead of these prissy older women that are now going around town being bitches to cashiers.

Emptying Your Ashtray

One thing I don't understand that happens A LOT, is why people will empty their ashtrays on the ground in the parking lot.

I mean, the garbage can is just a few feet away from your fat ass, so get out of your car and empty it in there.

I am always sweeping up piles of cigarette butts and ashes from the parking lot. I just don't understand why people have the nerve to litter openly like that. At least get out and dump it behind the building or something. Don't just leave your pile of butts all over the lot.

I wish I could catch one of these people sometime. I would scoop up their mess after they leave and wait for the next time they come into the store. Once inside, I would have my coworker distract them while I run outside, open their car door, and dump the ashtray contents all over their seat.

It's the same thing with people that come into the store and buy a drink. They will sometimes finish the drink before they get to their car, and then just throw the bottle on the ground.

People are pigs. I get paid to ring you up for your crap, not pick it up off the ground.

Cup After Cup After Cup

I got so pissed off the other morning when I came in to work. (What's new, right?)

Anyways, I'm standing at the register talking to my co-worker and watch as this woman walks in with a coffee mug. She takes a 16 oz. cup of ours and pours some cappuccino in it. She then takes a sip, and throws the cup out.

Next, she takes a 12 oz. cup, pours some cappuccino in it, takes a sip and then throws it out.

Finally she fills up her own coffee mug with coffee. Then she comes to the register.

"You know, I can give you a sample cup next time so you don't have to throw out those cups of ours."

She just looked at me and I could tell she wanted to say something bitchy.

"Okay," was all she said as she then disregarded me for the rest of the sale.

Again I ask, who do people think they are? How can someone be so freaking wasteful? She basically just walked in and started throwing our cups out. Do people not realize that those things cost money?

And then when I say something to her about it, she gets a look on her face like I'm just some stupid cashier and shouldn't even be talking to her. Dumb bitch.

I hope she got her freshly highlighted hair caught in her car window. And when she was trying to pull her hair out of the window, I hope she spilled her coffee all over her shirt and burned her boobs.

Could You BE Any Slower?

Why is it the first customer of the night is always the one to piss me off when I work night shift?

I was actually in a good mood when I came in to work.

This guy comes up to the register asking for cigarette specials. I tell him we don't have any and he just stands there looking at the cigarettes.

So then he starts asking me the price of some of the cigarettes. At first I tell him, but when he's on the 5th cigarette he wants to know the price for, I start to get irritated. First, the prices are right in front of the cigarettes. Second, I now have a line of people waiting behind him.

"How much are the Camels?"

"$5.12. I'm going to ring up these other people behind you until you decide what you want."

He stands to the side to let the next customer step up. "You know what? Nevermind, I'll just go to another gas station for cigarettes," he said angrily.

"You know what? Go somewhere else, I don't fucking care," was what I wanted to say, but didnt.

Instead I said nothing and after he left customers were talking about what a douche that guy had been.

I don't understand why some people think we have nothing better to do but stand up there and wait while you decide. Sure, it's my job to sell cigarettes, but not while you take 10 minutes to decide and hold up the line for the other customers.

An Employment Application

We get lots of applications in, sometimes from some less-than-desirable people.

One time a younger girl came in. She seemed very friendly, nicely dressed and maybe someone we'd have considered working with us.

"Can I have an application?" she asked as she walked up to my register.

"Sure!" I said happily. Finally someone normal-looking that we could possibly hire instead of these freak applications that we had been receiving.

So she took it outside, filled it out and brought it back in with a smile.

"What hours can you work?" I said, checking out the application.

"Oh, anything is fine with me. I can also come in to work on short notice too if someone were to call off." She seemed so perfect even her teeth sparkled.

I told her I'd give her application to the boss and he's be contacting her if interested. She smiled and walked out.

Upon further inspection of the application, I noticed this about one of the questions on it:

5. Have you ever been convicted of theft?

Her answer:

Yes, and I'm currently evading cops.

It seriously had to be some kind of joke, right? Who puts that? Sometimes it's bad to be too honest.

Just what I need; her calling off of work because Dog the Bounty Hunter found her.

Seeing Customers Outside of the Store

It's bad enough when I have to see the same sucky customers every day, but when I see them out around town it's even worse!

If I'm out shopping or something and run into one of them, I can't pretend I have work to do or anything, so I'm usually stuck talking to them. It's always the same too:

Customer: Oh hey, I know you!

Me (sighing inwardly): Yeah, it's me.

Customer: You work at that gas station! (They say this like they can't believe I'm actually out with the human race.)

Me: Yep, they let me out of the cage today.

Customer: Hahahahahhah that's funny.

And so this is how it goes every single time. I cringe when I run into one of the talkers, because then I know I'm stuck for awhile. It's like I'm someone they haven't seen in forever, so they have to update me on everything, even though they see me every. single. day.

It makes me want to stay at home on my days off and become a hermit.

Do You Have 23 Cents?

Yesterday I had a woman come in my line and brought up two cans of Red Bull for me to ring up.

They are currently on sale, two for $3.00 plus tax.

Her total came to $3.23. When I told her that, she handed me three singles.

"I need 23 more cents."

She just stared at me, so I said it again. "Your total is $3.23 and you gave me $3.00. I still need 23 more cents."

We were busy and had about 4 customers in each line. She starts looking around at the customers, just standing there staring at them. Now I was getting annoyed because she was holding up the line.

"Do you have 23 cents?" I said, while watching her continue to look around at other customers. She focused her sights on the guy who was behind her in line. She stared at him until he gave her 23 cents, still not saying one word.

She then handed me the money and walked out of the store. No thank you to the guy, nothing. It was weird. Maybe she should lay off the Red Bull.

I just wanted to whip a quarter at the back of her head as she was walking away. But with my luck she would have fell, broken her arms and legs, and sued me for my millions.

Another Drive-Off? Really?

We had another drive-off yesterday. This time from a deaf guy.

This guy came in and with hand gestures, told the cashier he wanted a piece of paper. So she hands him one and he writes:

I don't know how much gas my car will take, so here is my credit card so you will turn the pump on

He hands her his credit card, she turns the pump on, and he pumps his gas.

When he gets done pumping his $45 in gas, he gets in his car and peels away.

The cashier tries charging his card and it comes up as 'suspicious activity'.

Naturally we called the police, but who knows if this guy will be found.

I'm honestly surprised that no one has done this to us before. It'd be so easy to hand a cashier an old credit card and tell her you'll be back in afterwards to pay for your gas with the card.

Then you pump as much gas as you can, and get the hell out of there.

I have no idea if that was even his real name on the card, or if he stole someone's credit card. Even though it's shitty what he did, it was a good scam on us. But now we know, and won't fall for it again. At least I hope not.

Credit Card Reader Comes Back to Haunt Me

Have I told you how much I hate our credit card reader machine thingy? I think I have.

Well yesterday we got new ones. Our credit card readers before were obviously a little confusing to most of our customers, but these aren't much better. At least I don't have to tell them to "press the blue credit or debit key" because now, this one has a credit or debit button that you can press on the screen. Easy enough, right?

Not for our customers. The first customer I got, I told him to press credit or debit, and he started hitting the screen with his car keys. I quickly yelled at him not to do that, that there was a pen to use. Do people really have no regard for things that aren't theirs? If he had scratched our brand new screen, do you think he would have paid for it? I doubt it.

This customer's act of dumbassery managed to annoy me for the rest of the day, so I was like a hawk watching every customer to make sure they didn't try to damage the screen either. No one else did. So that made me conclude that this moron was one of a kind.

There was absolutely no point in giving us cashiers the extra aggravation, though. There is a 'pen' attached to sign your signature on the screen, but that part isn't hooked up and will require another software upgrade. So for now, I have to keep telling people not to sign with the credit card reader pen, and to sign with the real pen we have sitting there.

Ugh, I'm getting annoyed even talking about it.

Don't Leave the Pump Unattended

People don't read signs around here much. There's a sign on all of the gas pumps that states not to leave them unattended while pumping gas. Why?

Not only is it dangerous, but because it's your fault if it spills all over the ground.

We had a lady pull up to the pump the other day and start pumping her gas. As it was pumping, she came inside to buy some other stuff, all while talking on her cell phone.

Well while she was gone, her gas pump decided to keep pumping onto the ground once her gas tank was full.

None of us noticed it, because we were too busy dealing with the rush of customers in the store. When the lady went outside and saw this, she stormed back in, coming straight to me, of course.

"Now, I want you to tell me who's going to refund me all the money that just spilled out all over the ground," she said, staring me directly in the eye, while STILL on her cell phone.

"What are you talking about?" I needed to buy more time to access her and the situation.

"I came in here FOR A SECOND and while I was gone, your pump didn't shut off and now gas has spilled all over the ground. I want my credit card refunded."

"I'm sorry, but you aren't supposed to walk away from the pump while getting gas, and that's the reason why."

"Well it's YOUR pump that isn't working right. That's not my fault. I want a refund."

"You can't get a refund. Like I said, you left the pump and came in here. We have signs out there for a reason. You're even on your cell phone and not paying attention to anything but that. If you want a refund, you'll have to call the main office number, but I doubt anyone will give you one."

"I ONLY WANTED $15 IN GAS AND NOW IT CHARGED MY CREDIT CARD $40! Give me my money back!" she screamed. By then other customers were looking at her shaking their heads.

"I'm not giving you anything. If you'd like, I can call the police and they can sort it out."

At the mention of the police, she got even angrier and turned around and left. She yelled a few choice words at me as she left, just like they always do when they're walking away. Just once I'd like to magically teleport myself outside so as their cussing me out to my back, they can then walk right into me and crap their pants, wondering how I got outside so fast.

Not in the Mood Today

I hate when I'm crabby yet am still forced to make jokes with the regular customers.

I mean, god forbid I don't have a smile on my face, then everyone wants to know what's wrong, or makes a comment about how cranky I am, which just makes me even crankier.

If your regular cashier looks like she's had a hell of a night, don't make it worse by commenting on it.

It may be hard to believe, but sometimes I just don't want to be at work dealing with people. I'm either tired, or just don't feel like talking that day. When I answer you back with one-word answers, don't get louder trying to be funny in order to make me laugh. I'm not in the mood.

That's all people did today, annoy the fuck out of me. No one did anything in particular, except my co-worker because she's old and becoming senile, but that's a daily thing with her.

NOTE: If you notice your cashier just doesn't look like he/she wants to talk today, he/she probably doesn't. Leave him/her alone. Don't ask a million times what's wrong. It's probably none of your business. So instead of being labeled as an annoying customer, just pay for your stuff and get out.

Stand There and Wait

"Okay, your total is $3.54."

The customer hands me a wad of bills. "Put the rest in gas on pump #7," he says as he walks away.

This scenario happens a lot. A customer will want their change in gas. But the problem is that they are walking away before I can tell them what that total in gas will be.

I'm sure a lot of people add it up in their heads, but most of them just trust the cashier to set their gas pump for the correct amount.

There are also the customers wanting gas that hand me a wad of bills and walk away before I have a chance to count it all out to make sure it's all there.

Please don't do that.

It's bad enough that we have to uncrumple all of your bills. The least you can do is stand there until we count it all. What would you do if I set your gas pump for $2 less than you gave me? You couldn't prove it because all of the money is safely in the cash register after you leave the store. And I'd walk out of that store with 2 crisp dollars in my wallet.

Actually, if I did this to every person that does that to us every day, I'd probably leave the store with 20 crisp dollars in my pocket. Adult bookstore here I come!

But I am an honest cashier. Others aren't though. Please take the few extra seconds and wait there until the cashier verifies the amount you have given him/her. Do that or risk having your money pocketed.