Sunday, April 22, 2012

Asking for Directions

I hate when male customers ask me for directions. As soon as they spot another penis in the store they completely walk away from me and ask the other man for directions. This happens ALL the time:

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Now Hiring, Now Firing!

I always hate when we have to put up the "Now Accepting Applications" sign because of the weirdos we get applying for jobs.

We have a section on there that asks if you've ever been convicted of a crime (or something like that, I can't remember the exact wording.)

People - it doesn't help you if you lie on your application.

I do background checks on potential people we might hire. I tend to favor the people more that are HONEST about what they've gotten in trouble with before.

However, when you answer "No" to the question of ever having been convicted of a crime and you're lying, then your application pretty much goes in the garbage.

Last week was a smorgasbord of different convictions. I found one guy who has weapons charges on his record. Another who was convicted for felony theft and yet another that had MULTIPLE drug convictions - some as recent as December!

I also found that a sex offender had applied as well. Aren't sex offenders convicted of a crime if they are labeled a sex offender? Did he write it down on his application? Of course not.

Look, I understand that people probably made mistakes or are too embarrassed to put down what they've been in trouble for. I understand that even criminals need to make a living too. (Not sure about sex offenders, though. We do have a lot of teens that come into the store.)

But when the application says in big bold letters A BACKGROUND CHECK MAY BE CONDUCTED, then maybe you want to tell the truth a little.

One applicant wrote that he was convicted of a dui, but that he's been sober for 9 months. Out of all of those other applications, he's the one we are going to interview because *gasp* he told the truth!

On another note, the bottom of our application says 'DO NOT CALL REGARDING THE STATUS OF YOUR APPLICATION'.

Yet, every other day, the guy I mentioned earlier with the weapons charges is calling us every day asking about his application. He's a mean fucker, too. I've tried to tell him we are just accepting applications and not hiring just yet, but he gets mean with me and gets an attitude. I'm afraid to tell him to go fuck himself because I don't want him bringing one of those weapons in my store and shooting the place up!

Design by Custom Blog Designs using stock image by lemn