Monday, February 28, 2011

Winning on the Lottery

Whenever I see someone win a good amount on a lottery ticket, it makes me sad a little.

I mean, it's good that they won, but when the person that won hardly plays the lottery, then that's when it begins.

I see this all the time. A customer will play a lottery ticket for the fun of it, or happen to get some instant tickets for his/her birthday.

If they happen to win, great. Right?

Not really. The other day we had this regular customer come in that never plays the lottery. Well, he came in with a $1,000 winning ticket. For some reason we seem to sell a TON of $1,000 ticket winners, but never really anything higher.

But anyways, he came in wanting to know where to cash the ticket. Any amount over $500 has to be cashed at the bank nearby, so I told him where to go and gave him my congratulations.

The next day I see him come in and he's getting more lottery tickets. This was a guy that NEVER bought tickets because he couldn't afford it.

And so this is where it starts. This is where his lottery ticket addiction will start...all because he won $1,000 at our store.

And that's how the lottery draws people in. It's kind of sad. And we see this happen ALL the time.

The people that come in and play $300 worth of tickets a day...well, they won a big amount too a long time ago and their lottery addiction grew in the hopes that they would win again.

What's even worse is that on the back of the lottery tickets they give the hotline number for Gamblers Anonymous. Kinda like saying 'Well, we got you addicted, but here's the number if you want to call and get help. But we think you should play another ticket instead. It might be the big winner this time!"

I hate the lottery.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Clashing Cashiers

I think a fellow cashier at another store hates me. Why? Because she comes in and acts like a shithead just like the rest of the customers.

I started noticing her antics about a few months ago. She's a very nice lady and has told me that she works at the gas station up the street. She comes in and plays lottery. At first I wondered why she didn't just play at her own store, but I figured it's probably because they have rules against employees playing the lottery at their store.

A few weeks ago she came up to the counter during our morning rush. She pulled out about 20 lottery tickets and wanted to replay them, which means we have to scan them one at a time. Previous to coming up to the register, she had been hanging around the coffee counter for about ten minutes. So there I was, scanning her lottery tickets one at a time, while my poor co-worker was left to ring up the fifteen customers waiting in line. I saw this woman look around and notice all the people in the store, but she said nothing. Not even a "Oh, go ahead and take care of these customers first", which is what I would have done.

And before any of you say "But she's a paying customer too!", I've made it pretty clear before that I don't consider lottery customers real customers. Lottery sucks.

Anyways, for the past few weeks I've noticed that she will wait at the coffee counter until it starts to get busy in the store, and then will race up to the register to play her tickets. She does this

Now, since she's a fellow cashier, I don't want to be a bitch to her, but I can only come to the conclusion that she hates me for some reason. Either that or she reads this blog.

Which means that it will now be war. I may be lazy, but I'm not too lazy to go into her store and take up her precious cashiering time. And I'm sure I can be WAY more obnoxious than she is. I was born to annoy.

I'll first have to find out exactly which store she works at. Once I find that out, it's on. I'll just have to get some supplies together, some of which include a wrench and a midget blow-up doll.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

OMG It's Snowing!!!!!

Well I guess a vacation didn't help, because customers are still annoying the fuck out of me.

I would like to let you in on a secret: It snows every year.

Yes, I know that comes as a surprise to many people, especially our customers.

Every year my father plows some of the customer's driveways when the snow gets really bad. He does this because these people have been customers for years. They also pay him for snow plowing their driveways, but he mainly does it because they are loyal to our store and because he's known them for a long time. That means nothing to some of these people because they still use that as an opportunity to take advantage of him.

Some of these customers piss me off. What they don't understand is that snow plowing isn't his primary concern. His main job is running our store. But these people don't care about that. They will call our store at 3am wanting to know if he can plow their driveway. If I happen to be working night shift, I'm the lucky one that has to deal with these people.

Customer (at 3am): Yeah, I need my driveway plowed.

Me: Well the owner isn't here right now so you'll have to call back.

Customer: Can you call him? I really need my driveway plowed.

Me: No. It's 3 in the morning.

Customer: Well what am I supposed to do? I have to leave for work in a few hours.

Me: Start shoveling?

Customer: Can I have the owner's phone number? I'll just call him myself.

Me: No. Call back later. Have a nice day. *click*

I don't understand why people get so pissy about needing their driveway snowplowed. Do it your fucking self. Don't call me at 3am and expect things to get done. And these are the same fucks that come in and cause me problems about the gas prices. They use the line that they "know the owner" thinking that will intimidate me.

I hope next year he quits snowplowing for these assholes. I'm tired of dealing with them.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Dating the Customers

Back when I was a hot single cashier, I would get asked out a lot by customers. Of course it was flattering, but it also got kind of annoying because some men wouldn't take no for an answer. So I invested in a fake engagement ring in order to ward off the weirdos that just wouldn't go away. This worked very well for awhile.

I would like to tell all the newbie cashiers out there that are looking for romance through customers; don't do it. It is rare (at least in my store) that you will find anyone good to date. While I'm sure a successful hook-up HAS happened, it is a rare occurrence and is often regarded as an urban legend.

The worst part about dating a customer is that when the break-up happens, it is awkward city when they still come into the store as a customer. It is even worse when they come in and you have to ring them up for condoms.

I don't get some people. If I broke up with someone, I would stay as far away as possible from where they worked. I would want nothing to do with them. I certainly wouldn't go into their store everyday like nothing happened and expect to go back to the way things were before.

It makes me cringe every time I see someone I went out with walk through the door. And then when they want to make small talk? I just want to scream 'GO AWAY!' But instead I end up overcharging them on purpose.

I always warn my co-workers not to date customers, but they never listen to me. We get a lot of creeps in my store disguised as nice guys, so sometimes it's kind of hard for them to resist. And when my co-workers DO go out with them and find out how weird they are, they then tell me everything which makes me look at that customer differently. There's a lot of freaks out there.

Customers: Don't ever date a cashier because your whole relationship will be told to everyone they work with and also possibly other customers. We have nothing to do but gossip in our spare time.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Back to Hell

Okay, I'm back even though I don't want to be.

I go back into work tomorrow after being away for over a week. I hear customers have been asking about me. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

Hopefully I'm going into work tomorrow totally refreshed and ready to be the best cashier that I can be. But we all know that won't happen.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Happy Birthday to Me

Don't hate me but I'm going on vacation this week. Hey, I need a break from the customers too, you know.

So while I'm relaxing in the sun, I will definitely not be thinking of the crappy people that come into my store.

However, I just realized the other day that Confessions of a Cashier is now one year old. So in honor of this, I'm going to highlight some of my favorites posts throughout the year:

This jerk decided he could take a pee wherever he wanted to.

Or you can check out Little Things I Do to Get My Revenge when someone pisses me off.

You can also read about why binoculars are the best invention ever.

There was also the mysterious man that smelled like death.

Or you can check out my observations on spit.

Adventures from the yearly carnival we have around here.

Read about the consequences of changing the gas prices.

I'll be back next week, I promise! Unless I'm in jail. In that case I may be posting from the prison library while sitting next to my new girlfriend named Scab.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Getting Away From it All

I've realized that I can only handle working two days in a row at the store. I only work 4 days a week, but they are broken up into 2 day chunks.

This past week I had to work 3 days in a row, and I thought I was going to kill someone.

I never realized it, but by the second day at work I'm always crabby and can't wait to get home. I noticed that it's probably because I'm tired of seeing the same people every day. And I'm tired of talking to them about the same things every day. For example, the weather.

We had a snow storm the other day and for two days in a row that's all people talked about. Like there was nothing else to talk about in the world, but the crappy weather. Well, if the weather is so bad, then why are you out buying a 75 cent newspaper and then heading back home? Aren't you contributing to the traffic and dangerous driving conditions? Is your shitty newspaper worth it?

I literally rushed out of the store yesterday after my shift was over because I couldn't wait to get away from the place. It also doesn't help that I'll be on vacation in a few days and was stuck working this whole week instead of getting ready and packing.

I wondered this week what it would be like to tell a customer to go fuck themselves, but then I remembered that I didn't win the lottery and that I have to come back to work after I get back.

I will post a little next week, but I'll mostly be getting a much-needed break from shithead customers. I'm already dreading coming back to work in a week.

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