Wednesday, March 30, 2011

She Hid WHAT in her Sock?

On what planet do people think it's okay to keep their loose change and dollar bills hidden inside of a sock?

That's normally okay if the sock is located in your sock drawer.

What's not okay is when said sock is actually on your foot and you have to pull it off to retrieve your money!

I had this happen (yet again) to me yesterday.

"That'll be $3.31 please," I said sleepily.

"Sure, no problem," the woman said as she bent down. I figured she had placed her purse on the ground or something and was bending down to pull money out of it. No so. "Let me just get the money out of my sock," she stated.

I watched as she peeled the sock off of her sweaty foot and put a bunch of equally sweaty change on the counter. Then she looked up at me. Apparently it was my job to sort through her smelly change and count it all out.

I don't know if she got offended or not, but I ended up walking in the back room really quick to grab some latex gloves.

I put those on and started counting her change. She didn't say anything to me and ended up walking out after I completed her purchase.

I wasn't trying to be a smart-ass or anything by putting the gloves on. I WAS however, trying to prevent athlete's foot or some other possible fungus from attaching to my face.

I just honestly don't get how people think doing this is okay. Why should a cashier have to touch foot money??

Please tell me no one reading this has ever done such a thing.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Money Laundering

I don't like Western Union, which is the company that lets you send money to people in far away places. It causes us nothing but problems.

Awhile ago we were scammed by people claiming to be Western Union and lost a good amount of money. Western Union did nothing to help us get any of the money back. Even after WE did all the detective work and found out most of the information.

We sell money orders and have a few people come in about once a week that get thousands of dollars in money orders. They come in, pay us, get their money order and leave. Nice, simple transaction. No big deal, right?

Well, Western Union doesn't like this apparently. They tell us that we must now get the driver's license information of people getting any money orders over $1,000. Why? Because of something about money laundering.

1) I don't give a shit about money laundering. I don't really even know what it is and I'm too lazy to Google it.

2) I have no desire to help out Western Union since they never helped us out when we needed them.

3) If someone pays us cash to get a money order, that should be a simple, easy transaction. I shouldn't have to take the time to get all their information as well as if they wipe from front to back.

When we were scammed awhile ago, we were told by Western Union that Western Union will never call us about anything, so we should never take a phone call from Western Union because it is most likely a scam.

Okay, but all we've received is phone calls from Western Union telling us to get information on these money order people. Not one representative has bothered to stop in.

Like I said, I don't like Western Union and don't feel it is our responsibility to help them out with this money order/money laundering thing. Maybe if they had helped us out before I would help them, but they didn't, so I won't.

What do you think?

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Multi-Tasking at the Gas Pump

Many times there's nothing to do during the day, so I will watch customers outside at the gas pumps.

One thing I've noticed a lot is that customers really like to get their exercise in while they are waiting for their gas to finish pumping.

I've observed people doing these:

as well as these:

Today I saw a woman jumping up and down while waiting at the gas pump. It took about ten minutes to fill her tank, and during that time all she did was jump up and down violently and really high in the air. I thought she was going to bang her head on the canopy.

One of these days I'll probably see someone on the concrete doing this:

I wonder if I should shoot a gas station exercise video.

Hmm, do you think that would sell?

Friday, March 18, 2011

Night Shift Crazies

Hmm, I think there must be some kind of secret cashier group that I'm not invited to. A group designed to drive me crazy.

When I work the graveyard shift, it's bad enough when I get dumb customers. But now I get dumb cashiers.

This girl walked up to my register the other night:

Girl: Hi, can I get a pack of Camel Lights?

Me: Sure. Can I see your ID?

Girl: Sure.

I walk away to go grab her cigarettes. I come back. She hands me her ID.

Girl: It's funny, I work at a gas station and I STILL get carded for cigarettes.

Me: ...

Me: What?

Girl: Ever since I got a job at a gas station, I get carded all the time. It sucks.

Me: ...

Me: How is anyone supposed to know you work at a gas station?

She just smiled at me, obviously pissed off by the whole thing. But I really wanted to find out her reasoning behind this.

Me: No, really, how is someone supposed to know you work at a gas station? And what does that have to do with getting carded for cigarettes?

Girl (who must be having her own conversation inside her head): I work at crappy BP. I ring up people all the time. Can I help you? Can I help you?

Me: Oooookay. :::realizing that this one must be a nutcase:::

Girl: I card people all the time. Now I'm getting carded.

I could see the crazy look form in her eyes. So I picked up the phone and pretended someone had just called. I doubt she'd notice that it hadn't even rang.

Me (on pretend phone call): Hello? Oh hi, how are you? Haha that's good. How's the kids?

I kept on like this since as usual when I'm dealing with a freak, we are the only two in the store. Soon she started mumbling to herself as she packed up her wallet in her purse and walked out the door.

I kept an extra eye open that night.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Another Day, Another Drug Addict

Naturally I had a nutcase come in on my shift the other day.

When I saw her, I recognized her as someone that used to be a regular customer but one that I hadn't seen in awhile. I wasn't sure if she recognized me, but she kept staring at me.

"I need $20 on pump two," she said slowly, enunciating her words while still staring at me.

I held out my hand for her to give me her two $10 bills, but she just threw them down on the counter, disregarding my hand. She then turned around and walked out. I wanted to fling a rubberband at the back of her head.

But she wasn't done yet. She stopped at the door and stared at me some more.

All I could think was, "What the fuck did I do to her?" but instead I just looked back at her and asked "Did you need something?"

She slowly walked back up to my register with her finger pointed at me.

"Do you remember me? Do you remember me? I used to come in here," she said, obviously on some form of narcotic.

"Yes, I remember you coming in here all the time," I said while slowly backing away. She was scaring me. She was short and in my experience short people can go crazy and attack in an instant!

"I just wanted to see if you remembered me. I remember you. Your hair is shorter now but I remember you," she said while still shaking her finger. What was with the finger thing?

I didn't say anything else and she turned to walk away. As she was walking away she yelled out "I just wanted you to know that you are such a pretty girl."

She finally stumbled out the door to pump her gas.

Why is it always the ones that are drug addicts that think I'm cute???

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Thoughts on Canadian Money

I swear people come in on the weekends just to piss me off.

This past Sunday, while I was standing at the cash register angry that I was probably the only person awake at that time, a man came in.

"Do you take Canadian quarters?" he asked.

"No," I said and went back to filling the cigarettes.

"Could I ask why not?" he said, wanting to start an argument.

I sighed inwardly. Why do people like this have to come in and start shit? I'm not in the fucking mood asshole.

"I don't have to take any money I don't want to. That includes ripped bills, bills with blood on them, and Canadian money," I said.

"Well why not Canadian? Right now the Canadian quarter is worth more than the American quarter," he said, staring blankly at me.

"Because no one wants Canadian money back as change. Whenever I give it out, customers bring it back to me and ask for American quarters," I said while starting to get REALLY annoyed. "GO AWAY!" was what I wanted to scream.

"Huh," was all he said. "Well I guess it's good that I brought my American quarters. Give me a pack of cigars. It's still not right though that you won't take Canadian quarters." I wanted to slap him.

After I rang him up, he said "So what am I supposed to do with all these Canadian quarters I have? Give them to the homeless?"

"I don't think even the homeless would want them. Have a nice day," I said as I turned my back on him and went back to stocking.

Am I the only cashier that refuses to take Canadian money when I notice it? I could care less about it, but like I said, other customers bitch about it if I hand back Canadian money to them. So to eliminate people getting mad at me, I just refuse to take it in the first place.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Gas Prices

For 30 years we've had a price sign that looks something like this:

Whenever the gas prices changed, we would have to go outside with our long pole (since the sign was so high up in the air) and manually change the numbers to reflect the new prices. This was one of my least favorite jobs. Why?

Because people took it upon themselves to yell shit at me.

If the price of gas was going up, I'd hear comments shouted at me in all directions from people in their cars.

"Gas is already too high, you bitch!"

"Lower the fucking price!"

"Hey, can I get some free gas???"

I'd always ignore them and just continue on about my job.

Sometimes the numbers would be frozen to the sign and I'd have to bring a ladder out with me to chip away at the ice. I hated it because the longer I was out there, the more people could shout at me.

Sometimes people would see me walking out with the pole to change the price, quickly do a U-turn into our parking lot so that they could hurry up and get the lower price.

If people happened to be pumping gas while I was walking towards the sign to change to price, I'd hear: "Hey! I'm already pumping gas, I better get the lower price!!"

Yes, dumbass, you get the lower price.

But now, those days are over. We have finally gotten a digital sign like this:

I can now conveniently change the price from the comfort of our back office. No more comments, yelling, or insults. I could change the price naked if I wanted to. But I'd probably blind some of my co-workers and then I'd have to cover their no, I guess I won't change the price while naked.

But the point is that at least people won't blame me when the gas prices go up. I'm just an innocent cashier in a mean and cruel world.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011


Why do I think this is the funniest picture ever?


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