Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Marriage, Babies and Annoying Customers

Customers have been annoying the shit out of me lately. What else is new, right?

Well, I just recently celebrated my one-year wedding anniversary and ever since I got married people have been badgering me as to when I am going to have kids.

Lately it's been getting worse. Customers come in, look directly at my stomach and yell "Is there a baby in there yet?!?!?" or some other variation of that.

I even had one lady arguing with me about why I wasn't pregnant yet. I tried giving her every excuse in the book.

Bitch customer: So when are you gonna pop out some babies???

Me: When we can afford it.

Bitch customer: What's to afford? Don't you want any kids?

Me: Well we are waiting so we don't go bankrupt or into debt or anything.

Bitch customer: Why wait? You're running out of time, you know.

Me: Thanks for calling me old, but I'm not running out of time. We just got married, I'd like to enjoy that time together right now.

Bitch customer: Oh, you can have time later on with each other. Start poppin' those babies out!

What I wanted to do was put the focus on her since she was embarrassing me in front of other customers about something that's none of her business. Since she has no problem butting into my life, I wanted to talk about how her husband is a scumbag and filed divorce papers on her out of nowhere while she was out of town visiting her dying mother. And then he decided to change his mind and take her back. Why can't we talk about that instead of why I'm not having any children?

There's another customer that comes in every other day and asks if I'm pregnant yet. So I finally told her that when I do get pregnant, she will be the first person to know.

She's like, "Well, not the first, but maybe around the 5th person." Seriously? This is also the customer that got really pissed at me because I didn't invite her to my wedding. I'M JUST YOUR CASHIER LADY. YOU ARE JUST A CUSTOMER THAT BUYS TOO MUCH LOTTERY. GO AWAY.

It's getting frustrating and I'm running out of excuses.

Anyone got anything good I could use to get these people off my back?


  1. I highly recommend this list of responses:

    My husband and I don't want kids, and ever since we got married (last March) I get asked about kids All. The. Freaking. Time.

    Just remind yourself that these people have no actual control over your life. They're just annoying.

  2. You could tell them that it's none of their business. You could pretend you never heard the question - they ask, you reply - Did you want anything else? You could say "And that would be any of your business - why?" "I can't imagine why that would be any of your business" - Oh there is a while host of ways to tell people to bugger off...

  3. I can totally relate!! I am a receptionist & I've been married for 3 months & oh my goodness it doesn't end! One patient asked me to stand up and proceeded to stare at my belly! & after much thinking he decided I wasn't preggo! Wtf?!? Thanks for taking so long to make feel like a complete heffer! I just say whenever the big man(god) let's me lol then they leave me alone!

  4. How about the shock./shame route? Tell them you're tragically unable to conceive/carry, or that your hubs had one nut blown off during service to his country so conception is a hit & miss situation -- whatever, and then ask that they be sensitive enough to not ask again(!) Squeeze out a tear if you can, make them feel like asses for asking.

  5. Tell them that you bought a whole crateload from the same company that sends Angelina Jolie hers and if they don't sink on the boat on the way over here you should have a bunch come summer.

  6. This is really bad, but you COULD tell them you just had a miscarriage, or do what my boss does and tell them you're unable to bear children. If you do become pregnant tell them it's a miracle.


  7. Ive been married 8 years no kids yet. People are so gd nosy and it never stops.

  8. Were I in your position, I would just tell them that it's none of their business and I'd appreciate it if they drop the matter.

  9. I always responded with "Nope and not anytime soon. Why do you ask?" Most are too stunned to answer why that they dont ask again.

  10. I liked to use, "I am pregnant, thank you! However, since the father is from Betelgeuse, the gestation period is closer to four years than nine months."

    That shut them right up... and was an awful lot of fun for me.

  11. Ugh, I know the feeling on this one. I've had people ask me if I'm pregnant all the time. One guy was just a complete ass about it, I just smiled and told him I'd had a miscarriage but thanks for asking.
    A group of older ladies came through asking if I had children. My answer was no.
    Why not? You aren't getting any younger you know.
    Ma'am, I can't HAVE children. Now please leave me alone (Honest answer + 10 points to cashier).

  12. I got married at 18 so people really didn't ask if I was going to have kids, they assumed I already did. Almost every person is the same " oh your married? How wonderful, how old is your baby?" And they always have a huge grin on their face like they are congratulating themselves for figuring out why I'm married without having to be told. And of course I frown and say oh well I cant have children (the truth) so its just the two of us. I love how fast the expression on their face falls.

  13. Tell them you had to have a radical hysterectomy and there will never be any children. And to fuck the fuck off. ;)



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