Thursday, June 6, 2013

Product Review: Neuro-Bliss

I decided to review Neuro-Bliss for the sole reason that there is 'Happiness in Every Bottle' and I definitely need that. A few years ago I tried Neuro-Sleep but I don't think I ever posted a review on it. It must not have been that memorable. Or maybe it made me so sleepy that I forgot I drank it.

Anyways, Neuro-Bliss is supposed to de-stress my life. If one drink can take away the shitty and mean customers, then order me a pallet!

I decided to drink this before I went to work, figuring that if I did get yelled at by someone, then I'd let all of the negativity roll off of me and have a nice day.

I was all excited for this drink, so I chugged half of it until I realized it tasted like 7-Up. I'm not a fan of 7-Up, but I decided to drink the rest anyway because I really really wanted to be happy.

I guess I was expecting to watch the clouds part as the sun shined through and rainbows appear in the sky, but that didn't happen and I didn't feel any effects from it. When I got to work I immediately got yelled at by a customer because the bathroom was out of order. Okay, whatever, if that's the worst that can happen, fine by me.

Then a bunch of kids came in and spilled slushie all over the floor, so I went and got the mop and didn't say a word when I had to clean it all up.

After that a customer told me I shorted him $20. I politely told him he'd have to wait for the manager the next day to check the video footage. He told me I needed to go back to school and learn to add.

By this time I was guessing that I'd jinxed myself by drinking this Neuro-Bliss. I wanted so much to be happy and to feel like I was frolicking in a field of flowers, but that wasn't happening.

When I got into an argument with my co-worker about which one of us was going to clean up the puke at Pump #7, I gave up on this drink.

Fuck you, Neuro-Bliss. My day was shittier because of you! Maybe I need Neuro-Gasm to relax me a little. But I don't think they make that anymore.

Has this drink worked for anyone else out there? Did it give you the happiness it promised?


  1. It sounds like a placebo to me. Just like coke's advertized as happiness in a bottle.

  2. Perhaps happiness...temporary at more likely to be found in the adult beverages section. Just saying.



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