Come Up With Better Crappy Lines

If the item you bring up to the counter doesn't scan, PLEASE don't say "Oh, well I guess it's free today!" or any variation of that.

Do you know how many times a day we hear that? Do you?!?

People use that line all the time. You aren't the first. It's not funny.

Also, to the male customers, when I ask you if you want a bag, don't say "Nah, she's sitting in the car."

a. That's a mean thing to say about your wife

b. You're not original either, I hear that line about 50 times a day

c. You suck.


I think customers need to come up with more original lines.

How about:

Me: Is there anything else you need today?

Customer: Nothing that a hand job and some motor oil won't fix.

OR

Me: Would you like a bag for your purchase?

Customer: Sure, I might need it to take a piss in later on.


I mean, these examples are weird, but at least they're original, right? All I'm saying, is that I just want to hear something different. After 15 years things are getting old.