If the item you bring up to the counter doesn't scan, PLEASE don't say "Oh, well I guess it's free today!" or any variation of that.
Do you know how many times a day we hear that? Do you?!?
People use that line all the time. You aren't the first. It's not funny.
Also, to the male customers, when I ask you if you want a bag, don't say "Nah, she's sitting in the car."
a. That's a mean thing to say about your wife
b. You're not original either, I hear that line about 50 times a day
c. You suck.
I think customers need to come up with more original lines.
Me: Is there anything else you need today?
Customer: Nothing that a hand job and some motor oil won't fix.
Me: Would you like a bag for your purchase?
Customer: Sure, I might need it to take a piss in later on.
I mean, these examples are weird, but at least they're original, right? All I'm saying, is that I just want to hear something different. After 15 years things are getting old.