Friday, June 18, 2010

Come Up With Better Crappy Lines

If the item you bring up to the counter doesn't scan, PLEASE don't say "Oh, well I guess it's free today!" or any variation of that.

Do you know how many times a day we hear that? Do you?!?

People use that line all the time. You aren't the first. It's not funny.

Also, to the male customers, when I ask you if you want a bag, don't say "Nah, she's sitting in the car."

a. That's a mean thing to say about your wife

b. You're not original either, I hear that line about 50 times a day

c. You suck.

I think customers need to come up with more original lines.

How about:

Me: Is there anything else you need today?

Customer: Nothing that a hand job and some motor oil won't fix.


Me: Would you like a bag for your purchase?

Customer: Sure, I might need it to take a piss in later on.

I mean, these examples are weird, but at least they're original, right? All I'm saying, is that I just want to hear something different. After 15 years things are getting old.


  1. I wish more people were like you. I have said random strange things back to them, and they act like I'm an alien.

  2. I have a friend (man) who thinks he's being so clever and original at the register. He uses all these stupid lines to the cashier hoping to get a smile. It never works. (No duh!) He embarrasses the shit out of me with this crap. I've tried telling him, but he really believes his little attempts at stupid humor will regale somebody some day. Uh huh.

  3. I may be in small minority, but really I dont want chit chat when Im checking out of anyplace. I want to know my total and I want to pay. If I want chit chat, I just want to make my purchase and go home. I figure the cashier wants to do the same... complete her day and go home. I may be wrong.

  4. Men especially seem to think that their lines are hysterical and everyone will find them amusing. Maybe you should write a book, you could call it "How to be a better customer"

  5. I know one thing, I don't make stupid remarks to cashiers. Not that I ever did, but gosh you have an awful job. Well not the job, but the weirdo people that shop there.

    Have a terrific day. :)

  6. Hilarious! Margaret from Nanny Goats sent me to you. We can definitely relate. There has to be some sort of code of conduct to needs to be address to customers who don't know how to act in a public place like a grocery store. I mean we're people too!


    "Adventures of grocery clerks"

  7. I feel your pain! Where I work we always have to ask if the customer wants their milk in a bag and 99% of the time it's always "Nah, I'd rather have it in the jug." I'm always like, "Yeah, because I was going to pour it got me!"

  8. Oh lord.. I've heard both of those worn out lines a million times before. I humor them though, because I couldn't care less, and i'd just like them to get out of my store.
    Although, one time I asked a customer, who happened to be buying a bottle of rum, if I could get him anything else and he replied saying, "how 'bout a rim job?"
    really? I don't understand why customers think its funny to make awkward sexual comments and get annoyed when I get offended.



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