Monday, April 25, 2011

Google Search Terms IV

It's now time for another post of Google Search Terms. For those who don't know, these are some of the keywords people search for on Google and somehow it leads them to my blog.

"when a cashier gently touches your hand while giving change flirting"

I don't know about any other cashiers, but I try to avoid touching anyone's hand when giving them change. And if the people are especially gross, I usually just drop the change into their hands instead of placing it in. This search term sounds like the beginning of a porno story. I've flirted at the store before, but I usually do that by flashing my winning smile. I don't particularly like touching people. Especially their booger-encrusted hands.

"what to say to a customer when your a cashier"

For starters, how about "Can I help you?"

"what the fuck did they do to camel lights"

I'm not sure, could you be more specific? April 23, 2011 was my two-year anniversary of quitting smoking, so while cigarettes have soared in price, I have no idea if they taste even more like shit now. Wait I take that back...Mmmm...cigarettes....*drools*

"take a penny, leave nothing"

Yeah, that's what most people do. That's why I usually swipe all the pennies and throw them in the cash register before the drunks come in and try to take them.

"should cashiers give you your change in your hand or on the counter"

I would prefer to just slap the money down on the counter, but then customers start calling me disrespectful if I don't place it carefully into their hands. Haven't they ever heard of germs before? Especially after they just sneezed into the hand they want me to put their money in??

"police let me use the bathroom"

Well that was nice of them.

"is it safe to hand my credit card over to a cashier?"

Well how else are you going to pay for your stuff? No one has cash these days!

"i smell and my coworkers hate me"

Hah! I bet this person didn't find the answer to his/her question here. My advice? It's called Febreeze. Spray yourself with it. Either that or blame the smell on a customer.

"how to reverse the effects of 5 hour energy"

Well, my guess would be to stick your finger down your throat and puke it back up. It might even taste better.

"gas cashier get shot while changing gas prices"

Customers usually yell shit at me when I'm changing gas prices, but I've never gotten shot. I'll have to be more careful now about raising those prices!

"can i gas station attendant legally ask me to take my id out of my wallet"

Yes, you dumb fuck. Stop trying to look for ways to get out of showing your ID.

Once again, I'm wondering how the hell some of these search terms found their way to my blog. And it really makes me wonder what kind of people are out there!


  1. LMAO!! Totally priceless, those...and how does one go about checking that, anyway?? I can never figure it out. LOL

  2. Check out Google Analytics. That will tell you where your traffic is coming from.

  3. I'm having a shit day and these just brightened it. Thanks!



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