Tuesday, September 20, 2011

It's PAY at the Pump!

I've been working a lot of night shifts lately because our regular girl is out sick.

It's UNBELIEVABLE the amount of drunk people that come in.

This past Saturday I was working the night shift with my mom. (She didn't want me working a weekend night shift by myself, so she came to help out).

We had two older men come in wearing tuxedos, and one of them was very drunk. The drunk guy told me that his daughter had just gotten married. So obviously they were coming back from the reception. He was asking me for directions on how to get to the highway. As soon as I knew he wasn't the one driving, I tried giving him directions but he was fucking up what I was telling him because he was so drunk. I didn't really care much, I thought it was funny and not my problem on how they got home.

The two men finally left to go pump gas outside and my mother and I are laughing about how funny the whole exchange was.

All of a sudden, this big beefy customer who was also getting gas outside comes running in.

"Uhh, there's a guy urinating at the pump!" he yelled.

"Excuse me?" I said.

"Some guy is urinating at the pump out there, right by my car!" he said again.

I look outside, and sure enough there's the drunk father taking a wiz right next to the pump. I turned around to go out there and yell at him, but my mom was already ten steps ahead of me.

I followed her outside just in case I needed to lay the smackdown on somebody.

"You can't do that out here!" yelled my mom towards the drunk father and his driver.

"Do what?" the driver asked.

"Urinate! You can't urinate out here!" she said.

"I didn't!" yelled the driver.

"Oh, that was me, sorry!" slurred the drunk father as he zipped his pants up.

I couldn't help it. I was laughing my ass off at this whole scene. First, this big beefy customer is running in our store like a little girl to tell us that a customer is peeing outside. Why he couldn't have said something to the man, who knows.

Second, it was hilarious to watch my mom yell at a customer. She's usually the quietest person on the planet, which makes it even funnier.

Third, all we could think about was how we'd now have to put up yet another sign that says "It's PAY at the pump, not PEE at the pump!"

Seriously, someone get me off night shift soon.


  1. I would seriously like to spend a day in your shoes (only a day though haha) just in the hopes that I would get to witness first hand the shenanigans and strange shit you deal with regularly.


  2. If that happens again, tell them its fine...but they have to aim for their gas tank!

  3. ill get you off wink wink

  4. This is so funny! I'm a cashier as well I understand your pain...great post though.

  5. Oh dear, I totally feel for you!

  6. OKay, I take it back fatty. You are really funny and I kinda enjoy reading your blog!



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