Sunday Morning Crazies

Sunday mornings I always get a lot of weirdos in. I think they are the crazies left over from Saturday night festivities.

This morning, I came in to work at 6am and was told there had been a car parked out at the pump for about two hours. The person had come into the store and wanted to take a gas can because they claim they broke down up the road.

First, I have no idea how this person just found another car to drive to our store, because they were the only one in the car that had been sitting there for a few hours.

Second, whenever I hear a car has been there all night with someone inside, I usually call the police to get it out of there or to tell the person to leave.

Customers were coming in this morning telling me that someone was sleeping in that car. When they are sleeping, it usually means they are drunk.

So just as I was about to call the police, the car door opens and a woman steps out. She comes inside, and starts playing lottery. Then she starts telling me how men are all slobs and that she 'ain't gonna be picking up after none of 'em'. I could care less and was actually praying for another customer to come in to save me from this babbler. I almost hugged the next customer that walked through that door.

But it didn't matter. This woman just went on to look at our greeting cards for another half hour. GO HOME LADY. PLEASE.

I think she was drunk with the way she kept going on; and she probably noticed that every customer was peering into her car to see what she was doing in there.

Here's a tip from your friendly cashier: If you pull into my gas station to sleep off your drunkenness, then I will probably call the cops on you. You can then sleep it off in a jail cell.

Different Shifts

My favorite time of the day is usually the morning shift. Actually, it's the morning and evening shift. In the early morning, we get the customers that are just waking up in the morning and need their coffee. Most of the time, they are too out of it to be mean and they just want to get their stuff and go to work. That's what I like. The ones that are in and out.

It's pretty much the same way with the early evening customers too. They are usually the ones that are there in the morning too, and they are stopping in again on their way home from work. Those people just want to get their stuff and get home.

While I tend to like most of the morning crowd, it's usually the ones near the end of that shift that manage to piss me off. It's 11am and they should be at work by now, but instead they are getting their coffee and spilling it all over the place. Take today for instance. I had this guy come in with his kid. He barely spoke English, but you could tell he was the type to boss his wife around and drink alot. Anyways, he came in to get coffee, but I don't think that's what he wanted in the first place. It was just the fact that he happened to see me cleaning the coffee area that made him decide that he had to have coffee right then and there. So he kind of moves in front of me, apologizing while pushing me out of the way. So I stand off to the side and wait for him to finish. Soon after, I hear a cuss word and realize he is standing there holding his dripping cup of coffee half full, while the other half is on the floor.

Really?

So I get pissed and go get the mop. He is attempting to clean it up using over 1000 of our napkins bunched together. So I tell him that I got it and he proceeds to stand there refilling his cup while I'm trying to mop around him. At least wait til I'm done cleaning up YOUR MESS before you get your fucking coffee. Asshole. So yes, it's people like that that really make me mad.

The shift that I dislike the most is the afternoon shift. That shift is mostly full of old people playing lottery, and people that have no jobs so they have nothing else to do but walk around the store looking suspicious. Oh, and it's also full of kids that are getting off of school.

That shift is usually the slowest one of the day. The people that come in are lottery players. They have nothing better to do than play the lottery. And stand there. And scratch. Every. Single. Ticket. At. The. Counter. What they don't realize, is that there are other people that come in to the store needing to buy things. These ticket scratchers think they own the counter and not only are they taking up space, they are littering so that I have to clean it up.

I wish we had an area that people could play their stupid tickets at. Most of the lottery customers are the worst. In fact, I'm dedicating a whole chapter just to them.

Anyways, back to the different shifts. While the worst shift is the afternoon one, the creepiest shift is the night shift, also known as the graveyard shift. There are many types of freaks the frequent the convenience stores late at night, and I'm sure I've seen every one of them.

It's no wonder these people only come out at night, they are too fucked-up to be among the general population.

Usually the drunk crowd comes in for a few hours, but then after that, around 1am to 3am, that's when the weird shit happens. It's like a ghost town out there once beer sales close for the night. Then all the weirdos and druggies come out. There's nothing worse than being on a night shift by yourself, have it be all quiet, and then watch as someone stumbles in that looks like they are going to rob you.

There should be a rule for all freaks that come out at night. Don't constantly stare up at the cashier while looking for something to buy. It makes me suspicious and ready to call the cops.

Blame it on the Alcohol

Now, I don't always hate my job as much as it seems like I do. There are some good things, but I'm not going to list those here. For now, I'm going to talk about the drunks.

We all know that there are many alcoholics out there. And they are the nicest people generally...unless they can't get their beer.

There are a few types of drunks out there.

First, there are the ones that stumble in, go grab their beer, pay in pennies and quietly leave the store, walking home. These guys are fine, until I see how bad they are stumbling. That's when I refuse to sell them their beer. Why do I do this? Well, because if they happen to stumble out in the middle of the road carrying their can of Molson Ice or Steel Reserve and get hit by a car, it's most likely going to be the cashier that gets blamed for selling it to them.

Yes, that's right, the years he's been an alcoholic and had people enabling him all his life which caused him to drink even more won't matter, because I was the last one to sell him his beer before he became splattered all over the hood of a car.

So this is why I refuse beer to our town drunks, not because I care about them, but I'm just trying to save my own ass.

But usually the drunks don't look at it this way. When they stumble up to the register carrying their drink of choice and licking their lips in anticipation of the cold one they are about to swallow, I start shaking my head and telling them that they can't have any today.

“Why not?” they ask questioningly.

As I explain to them that they can't even walk straight, I see the anger forming in their sad eyes. They usually try to argue, but to no avail. I'm a stone cold mean cashier. If I don't want to sell you something, you sure as hell aren't going to get it. Not unless you have a million dollars. That you are willing to give me. Tax free.

And most likely these alcoholics aren't loaded with any cash if they are paying me in nickels and dimes. And yes, I do feel bad for them sometimes because alcoholism is a disease and is hard to conquer, but don't argue with me about trying to help you. I don't know you, I don't care that much about you, so go somewhere else and buy it from them.

And they usually don't buy it from anyone else. Most of the time I watch them walk away and they end up going right back home, even though there are other stores across the street that would sell them what they want. I don't get it, but oh well. Drunks will be drunks.