Monday, May 23, 2011

Pick-Up Lines

I was working this weekend and a customer came in that used to flirt with me all the time. I hadn't seen him in awhile and the last time I DID see him he was at another gas station drunk off his ass and yelling at the cashier.

Before that though, he used to come in every morning on his way to work. He would stand there and flirt with me, trying to hold my hand all the time. It was creepy and I started cringing whenever I saw him walk in. So I was actually relieved when I thought he'd moved on to another gas station.

Well, he was back this weekend. And I was working by myself at the register. Just great.

"Hey sweetie!" he said he as brought up a bottle of Gatorade to the register. "How are you?"

"Fine," I said. *cue cringing*

"I came in just to see you this morning."

"That's a good one," I said, trying to turn it into a joke.

"No, I'm serious. I came here today just to see you."

I looked at him and saw that he wasn't smiling, just staring at me. Awkward and creepy.

"Okay, well your total is $3.12," I said, trying to hurry it along.

"Yeah, I know. I came in here yesterday looking for you and bought the same thing."

Ugh, I just wanted him to get out of here. And finally he did, but not before grabbing my hand and trying to hold it.

But this incident made me think of all the funny pick-up lines we've heard over the years.

My all-time favorite is "Can I have a pack of Marlboro's and your phone number?"

It makes me laugh every time.

What's the funniest pick-up line you've ever heard?


  1. you can "check me out" any day

    do you have a broken heart? i can give you a ""screw""" to fix it (where screw=fucking me)

  2. "Excuse me, can I ask a personal question? Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?"

  3. Guy: What's your sign?
    Girl: No Entry

  4. we dress up for halloween in our store and i dressed up in all black with cat ears and painted on whiskers. i was just in a normal tshirt and black pants, this old guy walks in and goes, "damn, i'd like to make you purr." O_O

  5. Where's the toilet paper?

    Aisle 8.

    Is your number down aisle 8?

  6. At my store we are REQUIRED to ask, "Anything else?" So guys always say, "Yeah, you" "Your number" "how bout a blow job?" or something else equally moronic. One guy just said, "Sex. HEHEHEH"

  7. Hahaha! Nice. You should put a treadmill right where you stand so you can work out some of that lard.



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