Please Watch Where You Puke

Yesterday some asshole puked on the ground...next to the garbage can. Sadly this happens all the time.

Did they not want to mess up the garbage in the can with their puke?

This bothers me every time it happens because I just don't understand why. Can someone explain to me why you would puke NEXT to the garbage can instead of IN it?

Do we shit next to the toilet instead of in it? No. Well, most of us don't anyway.

It would have been so easy to just tie up the garbage can with the fresh puke in it and take it to the dumpster. But no, I had to take out the binoculars, confirm from inside the store that it was puke, and con one of my co-workers into hosing it down.

The funny part was that I got to watch my co-worker clean it up without trying to puke herself.

We made a deal though, I had to ring up the next 10 customers that she can't stand. Fine by me, I'll do anything to avoid vomit.

Taking Out the Trash...

There's only one thing worse than a customer, and that one thing is: garbage juice.

I hate taking out the trash and try to do it as little as possible.

I admit that I haven't mastered the art of trash removal yet.

The things people put in trash cans are disgusting, as they should be. But it sucks when I change the garbage and get garbage juice on me.

You know what I'm talking about. It's that stuff that drips from the bag even though there's no visible hole in the bag. It's the stuff that leaves a liquid trail from the trash can until you throw it in the dumpster.

My problem is that I always manage to get garbage juice on my skin or clothes. I don't know how it happens, but it does.

And even when I'm lucky enough to not spill garbage juice on myself, it somehow manages to attach its stench to my nose hairs, which means that's all I can smell for the rest of the day.

If garbage juice wafts up to my nose, that's it for me. I'm paranoid that I smell all day long and am constantly asking customers and co-workers if I smell like garbage juice. Surprisingly not many customers know what garbage juice is.

I'd probably take crappy customers all day long over garbage juice.

Maybe I should wear a garbage bag over my clothes and put a face mask on before I take out the trash....I'll sacrifice looking like a tool if it'll save me from that smell.

Oh, Allow Me to Pick Up Your Trash

I was ringing at the register today when a woman came in with her little daughter. The kid was probably about 3 or 4 years old and was eating one of those mini muffins.

The woman gets her cigarettes, and starts gathering her stuff to go. Meanwhile, I'm watching the kid, who is extremely adorable, eat her mini muffin.

So then, the kid drops the mini muffin on the floor, onto our carpet. The kid reaches down to pick it up and the mom goes, "Oh, that's trash now, don't eat it."

I figured she would reach down to pick up the mini muffin that her kid had just dropped. But no. She picks up her kid and walks out the door, leaving the crushed mini muffin that she had just stepped on, crumbled all over the carpet.

Going for a Drive

I would just like to say, that if you run into anything on our property with your car, then yes, it is your fault.

Awhile ago we had this guy come barreling into our parking lot and ended up running into a big wooden crate that we keep firewood in. He claimed that his brakes stopped working while he was on the road, so he decides to stop into a gas station in the hopes that he could find something to stop his car. Gee, I guess I'm glad he didn't choose a gas pump to do that with.

Anyways, he ends up running into this huge crate, and then puts up a fight telling us that he won't pay for anything because there wasn't any damage.

So he goes to straighten the crate out that he hit, and once he touches it the thing falls apart.

My point, though, is that this happens a lot. People will run into something in our lot and then blame everyone but themselves. Many of our outdoor trash cans and planters are beat to shit because people don't know how to back their cars up properly.

We always have tons of accidents in our lot, because once again, people don't know how to back their cars up properly. And they decide to drive these huge boats where they can hardly see over the steering wheel. Cars hitting other cars in our parking lot has become such a regular thing now, that I don't even look up when I hear things like "Excuse me, who owns that White Ford out there?"

So if you ever notice planters and trash cans all beat up and looking crappy and unsightly at a gas station, just remember that we never replace them because they will always continue to get hit by people in their cars.

Oh, and make sure to watch your car in the parking lot when you go inside. I've seen plenty of people hit another customer's car and then just drive off without saying anything.