People were vicious this weekend! Some of them must have gotten a firecracker shoved up their ass...or at least deserved to.
This punk comes in on Saturday wanting to buy cigarettes. He was wearing a wife beater shirt and a pair of swimming trunks.
I ask him for his ID, and he looks at me, holds his hands up and goes, "Uhh, where do you think I would put an ID? I don't have any pockets."
I have a few places he could shove his ID.
So I tell him that there might be room in his ass crack if he squeezes his cheeks together hard enough. Drug addicts and jailbirds have learned to use that convenient storage area very well.
He laughs and thinks I'm joking around and going to sell him cigarettes. Once he stops laughing and sees the look on my face, he turns around and walks away. At least this one didn't put up a fight.
Just because you come in wearing nothing that has pockets, that doesn't excuse you from having to present your ID. Nice try. Come up with something better next time.
Showing posts with label retail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label retail. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Taking Out the Trash...
There's only one thing worse than a customer, and that one thing is: garbage juice.
I hate taking out the trash and try to do it as little as possible.
I admit that I haven't mastered the art of trash removal yet.
The things people put in trash cans are disgusting, as they should be. But it sucks when I change the garbage and get garbage juice on me.
You know what I'm talking about. It's that stuff that drips from the bag even though there's no visible hole in the bag. It's the stuff that leaves a liquid trail from the trash can until you throw it in the dumpster.
My problem is that I always manage to get garbage juice on my skin or clothes. I don't know how it happens, but it does.
And even when I'm lucky enough to not spill garbage juice on myself, it somehow manages to attach its stench to my nose hairs, which means that's all I can smell for the rest of the day.
If garbage juice wafts up to my nose, that's it for me. I'm paranoid that I smell all day long and am constantly asking customers and co-workers if I smell like garbage juice. Surprisingly not many customers know what garbage juice is.
I'd probably take crappy customers all day long over garbage juice.
Maybe I should wear a garbage bag over my clothes and put a face mask on before I take out the trash....I'll sacrifice looking like a tool if it'll save me from that smell.
I hate taking out the trash and try to do it as little as possible.
I admit that I haven't mastered the art of trash removal yet.
The things people put in trash cans are disgusting, as they should be. But it sucks when I change the garbage and get garbage juice on me.
You know what I'm talking about. It's that stuff that drips from the bag even though there's no visible hole in the bag. It's the stuff that leaves a liquid trail from the trash can until you throw it in the dumpster.
My problem is that I always manage to get garbage juice on my skin or clothes. I don't know how it happens, but it does.
And even when I'm lucky enough to not spill garbage juice on myself, it somehow manages to attach its stench to my nose hairs, which means that's all I can smell for the rest of the day.
If garbage juice wafts up to my nose, that's it for me. I'm paranoid that I smell all day long and am constantly asking customers and co-workers if I smell like garbage juice. Surprisingly not many customers know what garbage juice is.
I'd probably take crappy customers all day long over garbage juice.
Maybe I should wear a garbage bag over my clothes and put a face mask on before I take out the trash....I'll sacrifice looking like a tool if it'll save me from that smell.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Say It, Don't Spray It
Spist - a combination of spitting and spraying a fine mist on something when sneezing or coughing.
I was at the grocery store yesterday and passed one of their employees stocking fruit. I watched as this woman sneezed right onto the fruit. Didn't even cover her mouth or anything.
After she left to go stock something else, I walked over there and noticed that there was a thin layer of something on the fruit. It was mist from her spit, which I have named Spist.
This reminded me of how people at my store turn their head to sneeze all the time. If their hands are full and the sneeze is coming on, many will just turn their head to sneeze and not cover their mouth at all. They won't even use their arm to cover up their sneeze. Which means everything to the right or left of them will get sprayed with Spist.
Now, this is WAY better than sneezing on me, which people do all the time, but still. People don't know what their touching in the store and who has recently sneezed or coughed on what.
We clean the store everyday, but no one thinks to wipe down the Tic-Tacs or packages of gum. All of those contain Spist.
If you happen to pick up something in the store, it's probably wise to wash your hands immediately. Spist can contain many things, most of the time it's phlegm with bits of throat skin in it. Do you really want to be touching throat skin?
So the next time you go shopping, it would probably be best to pick the item that's all the way in the back. That way you're probably safe from flying Spist.
I was at the grocery store yesterday and passed one of their employees stocking fruit. I watched as this woman sneezed right onto the fruit. Didn't even cover her mouth or anything.
After she left to go stock something else, I walked over there and noticed that there was a thin layer of something on the fruit. It was mist from her spit, which I have named Spist.
This reminded me of how people at my store turn their head to sneeze all the time. If their hands are full and the sneeze is coming on, many will just turn their head to sneeze and not cover their mouth at all. They won't even use their arm to cover up their sneeze. Which means everything to the right or left of them will get sprayed with Spist.
Now, this is WAY better than sneezing on me, which people do all the time, but still. People don't know what their touching in the store and who has recently sneezed or coughed on what.
We clean the store everyday, but no one thinks to wipe down the Tic-Tacs or packages of gum. All of those contain Spist.
If you happen to pick up something in the store, it's probably wise to wash your hands immediately. Spist can contain many things, most of the time it's phlegm with bits of throat skin in it. Do you really want to be touching throat skin?
So the next time you go shopping, it would probably be best to pick the item that's all the way in the back. That way you're probably safe from flying Spist.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Is The Bathroom Really That Bad?
Our bathroom is forever out of order. On purpose, of course.
I can't stand it when people ask something like 'Well, how bad IS the bathroom?'
If I tell you it's out of order, that means you can't use it. End of story. Not for some people though. They want to know details about what's wrong with it, if they can fix it, if they can just use it real quick, etc. By the time they get done asking questions about it, I'm surprised they haven't peed their pants by how long they took to inquire about the bathroom.
Just once I'd like the conversation to go something like this:
Customer: Can I use the bathroom?
Me: Sorry, it's out of order.
Customer: It is? Well, is it really that bad? I mean, how bad is it? Can I still use it? I'll be fast.
Me: How bad is it? Let's see. Somebody must have let a monkey loose in there, because there is poop with corn in it smeared all over the walls. Someone also must have forgotten their glasses because there is piss all over the corner. Another person puked in the sink - we think they ate Chinese food, somebody else stuffed a bunch of bloody paper towels in the toilet and clogged that up. And oh yeah, someone else also headbutted the mirror in there. I don't think it's usable right now.
Customer: ....
If you're wondering if any of those things have ever happened, yes they have. Just not all at once.
I can't stand it when people ask something like 'Well, how bad IS the bathroom?'
If I tell you it's out of order, that means you can't use it. End of story. Not for some people though. They want to know details about what's wrong with it, if they can fix it, if they can just use it real quick, etc. By the time they get done asking questions about it, I'm surprised they haven't peed their pants by how long they took to inquire about the bathroom.
Just once I'd like the conversation to go something like this:
Customer: Can I use the bathroom?
Me: Sorry, it's out of order.
Customer: It is? Well, is it really that bad? I mean, how bad is it? Can I still use it? I'll be fast.
Me: How bad is it? Let's see. Somebody must have let a monkey loose in there, because there is poop with corn in it smeared all over the walls. Someone also must have forgotten their glasses because there is piss all over the corner. Another person puked in the sink - we think they ate Chinese food, somebody else stuffed a bunch of bloody paper towels in the toilet and clogged that up. And oh yeah, someone else also headbutted the mirror in there. I don't think it's usable right now.
Customer: ....
If you're wondering if any of those things have ever happened, yes they have. Just not all at once.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Damn, Girl...
A long time ago, when I was a hot young cashier, an incident happened that I will forever remember.
Back when we had a little store, the cashier was enclosed in what we called 'the cage'. This was a tiny little office that we stood in with a window that opened so that we could deal with customers.
Well one day I was standing right outside of the office and this guy comes up to me. He looks me up and down (dramatically, I might add) and tells me:
"Damn girl, you got some fine lookin' toes!"
I said nothing, because this was in the early days when I wasn't the sarcastic, mean cashier I am now.
So he kept licking his lips and staring down at my feet, which, by the way, did not look 'fine' at all. I hadn't painted my toenails in weeks, so there was chipped toenail paint, and they needed to be cut badly. I could have sliced his achilles tendon with my big toenail. I probably should have.
So after two very awkward minutes of him staring at my toes and making groaning noises, I wised up and went back into the cage so he couldn't look at my delicious toes anymore.
This was probably the first time I ever had to deal with a pervert and since I was so innocent at the time, I didn't notice.
Was I flattered? Maybe my toes were, but not me.
Back when we had a little store, the cashier was enclosed in what we called 'the cage'. This was a tiny little office that we stood in with a window that opened so that we could deal with customers.
Well one day I was standing right outside of the office and this guy comes up to me. He looks me up and down (dramatically, I might add) and tells me:
"Damn girl, you got some fine lookin' toes!"
I said nothing, because this was in the early days when I wasn't the sarcastic, mean cashier I am now.
So he kept licking his lips and staring down at my feet, which, by the way, did not look 'fine' at all. I hadn't painted my toenails in weeks, so there was chipped toenail paint, and they needed to be cut badly. I could have sliced his achilles tendon with my big toenail. I probably should have.
So after two very awkward minutes of him staring at my toes and making groaning noises, I wised up and went back into the cage so he couldn't look at my delicious toes anymore.
This was probably the first time I ever had to deal with a pervert and since I was so innocent at the time, I didn't notice.
Was I flattered? Maybe my toes were, but not me.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
What Is So Freaking Funny?
We get people laughing at the stupidest things.
A prime example is this: Many customers will laugh when their total purchase ends in 69 cents.
Why? Why do people do this??
And it's not like it's teenagers or anything. It's always GROWN MEN that chuckle to themselves.
When they do this all I can do is stare at them with my 'You're an idiot' look. Do they not get enough attention from their wives or girlfriends at home that something like this actually amuses them?
The worst is when they actually say something about it. "Oh heh heh heh. 69. Do you see that?"
"Yeah, asshole, I see. Just pay me and get out."
Here's another piece of advice. If your total ends in 69, don't comment on it to the cashier. Just hold your laughter in as best as you can (because it is SO funny), and wait until you are outside before you burst out laughing.
A prime example is this: Many customers will laugh when their total purchase ends in 69 cents.
Why? Why do people do this??
And it's not like it's teenagers or anything. It's always GROWN MEN that chuckle to themselves.
When they do this all I can do is stare at them with my 'You're an idiot' look. Do they not get enough attention from their wives or girlfriends at home that something like this actually amuses them?
The worst is when they actually say something about it. "Oh heh heh heh. 69. Do you see that?"
"Yeah, asshole, I see. Just pay me and get out."
Here's another piece of advice. If your total ends in 69, don't comment on it to the cashier. Just hold your laughter in as best as you can (because it is SO funny), and wait until you are outside before you burst out laughing.
Monday, May 17, 2010
No It Wasn't A Rough Night
I get up really early for work...usually around 5am. So naturally, I'm going to go into work sleepy.
I don't know why customers feel the need to ask me 'Rough night?' when they see me in the morning.
Yes, I know I look like crap. I feel like crap. And here I am ringing up your shitty lottery purchase at 6am because you couldn't fucking wait til the sun came up and you're asking me if I stayed out all night which is why I look like garbage.
No, I didn't stay out all night, I'M JUST TIRED.
I wish I was one of those people in the movies that looked all perfect when they woke up every morning, but I'm not.
Most days I stumble into work because 6am is just too early to be up sometimes.
The worst is when I think I actually look presentable and wide awake at work, and STILL have someone ask me 'Rough night?'! No, you asshole, but thanks for telling me I look like shit. Have a nice day!
I don't know why customers feel the need to ask me 'Rough night?' when they see me in the morning.
Yes, I know I look like crap. I feel like crap. And here I am ringing up your shitty lottery purchase at 6am because you couldn't fucking wait til the sun came up and you're asking me if I stayed out all night which is why I look like garbage.
No, I didn't stay out all night, I'M JUST TIRED.
I wish I was one of those people in the movies that looked all perfect when they woke up every morning, but I'm not.
Most days I stumble into work because 6am is just too early to be up sometimes.
The worst is when I think I actually look presentable and wide awake at work, and STILL have someone ask me 'Rough night?'! No, you asshole, but thanks for telling me I look like shit. Have a nice day!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Dear Customer....
Dear Customer,
Please don't bring a doughnut up to the register with a bite taken out of it and ask if you can have it half price because it's half eaten.
It wasn't funny the first 100 times I heard it from people, it's still not funny today.
Sincerely Up Yours,
Cashier
Please don't bring a doughnut up to the register with a bite taken out of it and ask if you can have it half price because it's half eaten.
It wasn't funny the first 100 times I heard it from people, it's still not funny today.
Sincerely Up Yours,
Cashier
Friday, May 14, 2010
Umm, You Left Your Coffee...Oh, Nevermind
I don't know why, but I find it hilarious when people pull away with their coffee or beverages on the top of their car.
For some reason it makes me laugh, even if I've been having a shitty day.
The best one yet was where this guy had gotten 4 cups of coffee, put them in a drink carrier tray and set it on top of his car. He was on his cell phone, of course, so he forgot about them when getting into his car.
I didn't notice it until he was already in his car, but by then it was too late. I tried knocking on our window, even though he never would have been able to hear it. At least I made an effort before I laughed, right?
So I got to watch as the whole tray actually made it down the street still on the top of his car. The downfall was when he went to go make a left turn onto another street. That's when his coffee tray slid off the rooftop and splattered all over the ground.
Ahh, it's the little things that amuse me these days.
For some reason it makes me laugh, even if I've been having a shitty day.
The best one yet was where this guy had gotten 4 cups of coffee, put them in a drink carrier tray and set it on top of his car. He was on his cell phone, of course, so he forgot about them when getting into his car.
I didn't notice it until he was already in his car, but by then it was too late. I tried knocking on our window, even though he never would have been able to hear it. At least I made an effort before I laughed, right?
So I got to watch as the whole tray actually made it down the street still on the top of his car. The downfall was when he went to go make a left turn onto another street. That's when his coffee tray slid off the rooftop and splattered all over the ground.
Ahh, it's the little things that amuse me these days.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
The Doughnut Police See All
Today I watched on camera as a customer took a doughnut, hid around the corner and proceeded to scarf it down. It wasn't even a good kind, it was a jelly doughnut.
At first I figured this guy was hungry and needed some nourishment and didn't have any money, but then I saw him grab some beer to buy and that's when I decided to say something.
The customer sets the beer on the counter as I say "Anything else today, sir?"
Customer: No, that's all.
Me (peering at customer): Are you sure?
Customer (staring me down): Yes, I'm sure.
Me: ...
So I decided to ring him up for his 24 oz can of beer as well as the doughnut. Since this guy knew the exact price of the can of beer, I knew he'd notice an extra 75 cents tacked onto it. And he did.
Me: Your total is $1.84
Customer: What? That's wrong, this beer isn't that much.
Me: No, but I had to add in the doughnut you ate over there in the corner.
Customer: ...
And of course, he figured out that he had been caught, so couldn't do anything but pay for his shit and leave.
The doughnut police are watching.....
At first I figured this guy was hungry and needed some nourishment and didn't have any money, but then I saw him grab some beer to buy and that's when I decided to say something.
The customer sets the beer on the counter as I say "Anything else today, sir?"
Customer: No, that's all.
Me (peering at customer): Are you sure?
Customer (staring me down): Yes, I'm sure.
Me: ...
So I decided to ring him up for his 24 oz can of beer as well as the doughnut. Since this guy knew the exact price of the can of beer, I knew he'd notice an extra 75 cents tacked onto it. And he did.
Me: Your total is $1.84
Customer: What? That's wrong, this beer isn't that much.
Me: No, but I had to add in the doughnut you ate over there in the corner.
Customer: ...
And of course, he figured out that he had been caught, so couldn't do anything but pay for his shit and leave.
The doughnut police are watching.....
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
It's a Dog-gone Shame
We used to have this customer come in that would bring his dog in the store. That's fine and all, but you need to be holding onto your dog when you have it in the store, not have it roaming around jumping up trying to sniff/eat all the food.
So one day this customer came in with his dog and it was irritating me that the dog kept sniffing around and jumping all over the place, so I told him that he couldn't bring the dog in anymore; that it was trying to eat everything and I'm sure he didn't want to end up paying for stuff the dog ate. He said okay and left.
Well a few months later this guy came in again. And at the time he came in, we had another customer in with her dog, who is on a leash and well behaved. So this guy saw this woman's dog, got pissed, and asked me why she was allowed to bring her dog in if he couldn't.
First of all, no one's allowed to bring their damn dog in the store, but since I'm a nice cashier I allowed it. Second, this guy's dog was frothing at the mouth checking out the Snickers bars and other tasty delights, so I didn't want dog slobber all over the place.
Long story short, this guy got mad and said he wasn't coming back anymore because I was discriminating against his dog. Yeah, whatever.
Someone please get these people away from me!
So one day this customer came in with his dog and it was irritating me that the dog kept sniffing around and jumping all over the place, so I told him that he couldn't bring the dog in anymore; that it was trying to eat everything and I'm sure he didn't want to end up paying for stuff the dog ate. He said okay and left.
Well a few months later this guy came in again. And at the time he came in, we had another customer in with her dog, who is on a leash and well behaved. So this guy saw this woman's dog, got pissed, and asked me why she was allowed to bring her dog in if he couldn't.
First of all, no one's allowed to bring their damn dog in the store, but since I'm a nice cashier I allowed it. Second, this guy's dog was frothing at the mouth checking out the Snickers bars and other tasty delights, so I didn't want dog slobber all over the place.
Long story short, this guy got mad and said he wasn't coming back anymore because I was discriminating against his dog. Yeah, whatever.
Someone please get these people away from me!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Last Call for This Customer
Worked night shift last night. Usually it's uneventful but last night there was drama.
Had a drunk driver come in.
As soon as I saw him pull in and park sideways in the parking lot, I knew. So I told myself that if he tried to buy beer I wouldn't sell it to him. I refuse drunks all the time for beer, so it's no big deal.
So I watch as he stumbles in and almost knocks over one of our displays. He comes up to me and buys cigarettes. I take a whiff and he reeks of alcohol. So I turn to my co-worker and ask him if we should call the cops. He ends up getting on the phone with the cops while I finish ringing this guy up.
So the guy leaves, gets back in his truck and peels out of the parking lot. A few seconds later I thought I heard something being hit, but when I went out there I couldn't see anything.
Long story short, they caught the guy, but not until after he hit his neighbor's car and totaled it. Oh, and his tire also fell off during some point and he was driving without a front tire.
I guess people called in saying they saw a truck on fire...must have been the sparks flying from him not having a tire.
Looks like the guy refused a sobriety test, so we have to hand the camera footage over to the police so they can put him in jail where he belongs.
What an idiot. I hate drunk drivers. One less drunk loser off the road.
Had a drunk driver come in.
As soon as I saw him pull in and park sideways in the parking lot, I knew. So I told myself that if he tried to buy beer I wouldn't sell it to him. I refuse drunks all the time for beer, so it's no big deal.
So I watch as he stumbles in and almost knocks over one of our displays. He comes up to me and buys cigarettes. I take a whiff and he reeks of alcohol. So I turn to my co-worker and ask him if we should call the cops. He ends up getting on the phone with the cops while I finish ringing this guy up.
So the guy leaves, gets back in his truck and peels out of the parking lot. A few seconds later I thought I heard something being hit, but when I went out there I couldn't see anything.
Long story short, they caught the guy, but not until after he hit his neighbor's car and totaled it. Oh, and his tire also fell off during some point and he was driving without a front tire.
I guess people called in saying they saw a truck on fire...must have been the sparks flying from him not having a tire.
Looks like the guy refused a sobriety test, so we have to hand the camera footage over to the police so they can put him in jail where he belongs.
What an idiot. I hate drunk drivers. One less drunk loser off the road.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Just Say NO!
This guy came in this weekend with his little girl. The little girl had a ton of items in her hand, ranging from doughnuts to mini-muffins.
The guy held up two cups of coffee to show me that that's what he was buying. During all this, he was talking like a baby to his little girl. "Okay sweetheart, this woman's going to put all of this in a bag and ring it up for us."
So I did. I rung it up and put it all in a bag. I told him his total and he looked at me funny. Then he whispers to me, "Oh no, I just wanted the cups of coffee!"
Which means that instead of telling his kid 'No', he let her bring up AT LEAST ten items to the counter, all of which I had to put in a bag just so I could play 'pretend' too. Even as the father was telling me this, the kid was bringing up more items to the register and here he is telling her 'Okay, she's going to ring all of this up and put it to the side for us and we will be back later to pick it up' as he sets these new items on the counter.
I get that he probably didn't want his kid crying all over the store, but sometimes you just have to say no! Why do I have to then put every single item back that YOUR kid picked up because YOU couldn't tell them to put it back in the first place?
Who knows, maybe I'll understand more when I have children. But until then I think it's rude to do that to a poor cashier. Put your own shit back on the shelf.
The guy held up two cups of coffee to show me that that's what he was buying. During all this, he was talking like a baby to his little girl. "Okay sweetheart, this woman's going to put all of this in a bag and ring it up for us."
So I did. I rung it up and put it all in a bag. I told him his total and he looked at me funny. Then he whispers to me, "Oh no, I just wanted the cups of coffee!"
Which means that instead of telling his kid 'No', he let her bring up AT LEAST ten items to the counter, all of which I had to put in a bag just so I could play 'pretend' too. Even as the father was telling me this, the kid was bringing up more items to the register and here he is telling her 'Okay, she's going to ring all of this up and put it to the side for us and we will be back later to pick it up' as he sets these new items on the counter.
I get that he probably didn't want his kid crying all over the store, but sometimes you just have to say no! Why do I have to then put every single item back that YOUR kid picked up because YOU couldn't tell them to put it back in the first place?
Who knows, maybe I'll understand more when I have children. But until then I think it's rude to do that to a poor cashier. Put your own shit back on the shelf.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Things I Hate: The Coffee Creamer Machine
If there's one machine I hate in the whole world, it is our coffee creamer machine.
Why?
Because we have to fill the damn thing. Multiple times a day.
Every morning I watch as people fill their cup 3/4ths of the way with half & half, and then add the remaining 1/4th full of coffee. So yes, the machine seems to empty out quickly.
What I hate is when people will interrupt me while I'm with a customer to yell out 'Your creamer is empty!'
My creamer is empty? Allow me to explain why that makes no sense.
I do not dispense half & half, milk, or french vanilla creamer from my body. While telling me that my creamer is empty, you are technically making a reference to my boobs, also called creamers. What you are really telling me is that my boobs aren't dispensing any fluids into your cup of coffee. That, is pretty gross. See why yelling this out to me makes you look stupid?
So the next time you want to inform me that the machine needs to be filled, why don't you tell me that? A simple 'Um, could you replace the coffee creamer machine? It's not working right," would do just fine. Instead of yelling at me 'You're out of creamer!!!', learn to be patient and polite, or else you can be sure I'll definitely put some mystery cream in your coffee next time.
Why?
Because we have to fill the damn thing. Multiple times a day.
Every morning I watch as people fill their cup 3/4ths of the way with half & half, and then add the remaining 1/4th full of coffee. So yes, the machine seems to empty out quickly.
What I hate is when people will interrupt me while I'm with a customer to yell out 'Your creamer is empty!'
My creamer is empty? Allow me to explain why that makes no sense.
I do not dispense half & half, milk, or french vanilla creamer from my body. While telling me that my creamer is empty, you are technically making a reference to my boobs, also called creamers. What you are really telling me is that my boobs aren't dispensing any fluids into your cup of coffee. That, is pretty gross. See why yelling this out to me makes you look stupid?
So the next time you want to inform me that the machine needs to be filled, why don't you tell me that? A simple 'Um, could you replace the coffee creamer machine? It's not working right," would do just fine. Instead of yelling at me 'You're out of creamer!!!', learn to be patient and polite, or else you can be sure I'll definitely put some mystery cream in your coffee next time.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Coming Back From Hell With Another Poop Story
Ahh, finally starting to feel better. Yesterday was rough though. I could have posted, but I didn't want to puke or crap on my keyboard, so I stayed away.
I don't think I've ever been this sick before. Some customer must have really wanted to get back at me for something!
Speaking of poop, this reminds me of a story.
We had this old man come in one time with his wife. He asked where the bathroom was, and since I felt bad because they were so old, I let them use it. Before he walked in there with his wife, he asked if we sold Immodium AD. As soon as asked for Immodium AD, my heart fell. One of those two had baaaad diarrhea.
So I pointed to the section where we kept the Immodium AD and he walked over to it and came back up and bought it. Then he started to lead his wife to the bathroom, telling us she really had to use it.
Me and my coworker couldn't do anything but hope for the best in there.
About 45 minutes later, the man comes out with his wife, and she has no pants on. Luckily her long coat covered her hoo-ha, but we could still see her pale white chicken legs. The man was also carrying a trash bag in his hands.
He came up to me and said that we needed to put another trash bag in there because his wife made a mess and he had to clean it all up and was going to throw the bag in the dumpster, along with her pants.
I thanked the man profusely for cleaning up after his wife and watched as they walked outside and he held the door for her while she got in the car.
That's a good kind of customer. Didn't leave any kind of mess at all for us to clean up. As they drove away, I made a promise to myself that I would find a husband that would one day clean up after me if I ever shit all over a public restroom.
I don't think I've ever been this sick before. Some customer must have really wanted to get back at me for something!
Speaking of poop, this reminds me of a story.
We had this old man come in one time with his wife. He asked where the bathroom was, and since I felt bad because they were so old, I let them use it. Before he walked in there with his wife, he asked if we sold Immodium AD. As soon as asked for Immodium AD, my heart fell. One of those two had baaaad diarrhea.
So I pointed to the section where we kept the Immodium AD and he walked over to it and came back up and bought it. Then he started to lead his wife to the bathroom, telling us she really had to use it.
Me and my coworker couldn't do anything but hope for the best in there.
About 45 minutes later, the man comes out with his wife, and she has no pants on. Luckily her long coat covered her hoo-ha, but we could still see her pale white chicken legs. The man was also carrying a trash bag in his hands.
He came up to me and said that we needed to put another trash bag in there because his wife made a mess and he had to clean it all up and was going to throw the bag in the dumpster, along with her pants.
I thanked the man profusely for cleaning up after his wife and watched as they walked outside and he held the door for her while she got in the car.
That's a good kind of customer. Didn't leave any kind of mess at all for us to clean up. As they drove away, I made a promise to myself that I would find a husband that would one day clean up after me if I ever shit all over a public restroom.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
You're Sick? Get Away From Me!
Damnit I'm sick. And I probably got it from a crappy customer. You know, most likely the TWENTY or so that sneezed in my face this past week.
I've got the runs, feel queasy and now have the chills. I freaking HATE getting the chills!
How much hand sanitizer do I need to use in order to be protected against sick people???
Maybe I should slather it all over my clothes. People will wonder why I'm wet and sticky, but who cares. It sure beats the hell out of running to the bathroom in between customers.
Yes, I went to work today. I managed to make it for three hours before I couldn't stay and had to go home. That's about 75-100 people I infected. Should I feel bad? God no. People do it to me on a daily basis.
I know I touch snot every day when sick people hand me their money. I even watched some guy sneeze into his dollar bill, slyly wipe his nose with it, and then walked up to the counter to give it to the cashier. It was a cashier I wasn't too fond of, so I never warned her. Sure enough, she got sick 2 days later. Little things I do to get my revenge....
Why I'm on the Internet I have no freaking clue. I've been restless in bed all day and on the toilet and am tired of wiping so much my butt hurts.
I guess this is payback from all the crappy customers I have....
I've got the runs, feel queasy and now have the chills. I freaking HATE getting the chills!
How much hand sanitizer do I need to use in order to be protected against sick people???
Maybe I should slather it all over my clothes. People will wonder why I'm wet and sticky, but who cares. It sure beats the hell out of running to the bathroom in between customers.
Yes, I went to work today. I managed to make it for three hours before I couldn't stay and had to go home. That's about 75-100 people I infected. Should I feel bad? God no. People do it to me on a daily basis.
I know I touch snot every day when sick people hand me their money. I even watched some guy sneeze into his dollar bill, slyly wipe his nose with it, and then walked up to the counter to give it to the cashier. It was a cashier I wasn't too fond of, so I never warned her. Sure enough, she got sick 2 days later. Little things I do to get my revenge....
Why I'm on the Internet I have no freaking clue. I've been restless in bed all day and on the toilet and am tired of wiping so much my butt hurts.
I guess this is payback from all the crappy customers I have....
Monday, May 3, 2010
There's a New Excuse Born Every Minute
So this kid comes in the other day to buy cigarettes.
Me: Do you have your ID? (He looked 12.)
Kid: Umm, no, I just got a new wallet.
So he opens his wallet to show me, and there's nothing inside. Nothing. Completely empty.
Kid: Your coworker knows me though.
Me: Well, she's not here to verify that, so I can't sell you cigarettes.
Luckily the kid just walked away instead of putting up a fight.
But really? You didn't have your ID and your excuse was that you just got a new wallet? Aren't you supposed to transfer your stuff from one wallet to the next once you buy a new one? He didn't even have any money in it, so I wondered how he was even going to pay for it. He'd probably have told me his money was in his old wallet and expected to get free smokes out of it.
It makes me wonder what kind of excuses people use when they go to a bar? And do these dumb excuses ever work?
Me: Do you have your ID? (He looked 12.)
Kid: Umm, no, I just got a new wallet.
So he opens his wallet to show me, and there's nothing inside. Nothing. Completely empty.
Kid: Your coworker knows me though.
Me: Well, she's not here to verify that, so I can't sell you cigarettes.
Luckily the kid just walked away instead of putting up a fight.
But really? You didn't have your ID and your excuse was that you just got a new wallet? Aren't you supposed to transfer your stuff from one wallet to the next once you buy a new one? He didn't even have any money in it, so I wondered how he was even going to pay for it. He'd probably have told me his money was in his old wallet and expected to get free smokes out of it.
It makes me wonder what kind of excuses people use when they go to a bar? And do these dumb excuses ever work?
Friday, April 30, 2010
You Won on the Lottery? Go Away.
We are open 24 hours. Why? I have no idea, because we mostly get the freaks and creeps in the middle of the night.
But my point is that many businesses don't open until 8 or 9 a.m.
So, why do people think they can bring a $500 winning lottery ticket in to cash at 6 in the morning?
Awhile ago, I had just started my shift. We had this guy come in that threw his lottery ticket down on the counter and demanded that we pay him the $500 that he just won.
It was 6 a.m., I was not fully awake yet, and we had tons of cranky customers in the store that just wanted to buy their coffee and get to work.
Plus, I didn't have any money in my register to cash this ticket. So I told the man that he would have to come back later and he started getting on my case that since he bought this $1 lottery ticket here, he should be able to cash it there.
That's nice and all that he won, but I couldn't have cared less. I 'politely' explained that we didn't have that kind of money that early in the morning and this was when he decided that he wanted me to call the manager and wake him up to come down and cash his ticket.
So of course I start getting irritated and told him to go somewhere else then. So he kept asking why we wouldn't cash his ticket. I finally told him that if he wanted his ticket cashed so badly, then I would call the police and they could come down and cash his ticket for him. While I'm saying this, I'm picking up the phone dialing the police. (Works every time.)
He looks at me, grabs his ticket from the counter, and flicks me off as he's walking away.
Of course this just angers me more, but it's too early in the morning for me to start swearing at him in front of customers.
Why he couldn't wait a few more hours to cash his ticket? Who knows. All I know is that if you are bringing your big winner in to cash before the sun comes up, then you'd better turn around and go sit your ass in your car for a few hours, because we aren't a bank, and we don't have that kind of money so early in the morning.
But my point is that many businesses don't open until 8 or 9 a.m.
So, why do people think they can bring a $500 winning lottery ticket in to cash at 6 in the morning?
Awhile ago, I had just started my shift. We had this guy come in that threw his lottery ticket down on the counter and demanded that we pay him the $500 that he just won.
It was 6 a.m., I was not fully awake yet, and we had tons of cranky customers in the store that just wanted to buy their coffee and get to work.
Plus, I didn't have any money in my register to cash this ticket. So I told the man that he would have to come back later and he started getting on my case that since he bought this $1 lottery ticket here, he should be able to cash it there.
That's nice and all that he won, but I couldn't have cared less. I 'politely' explained that we didn't have that kind of money that early in the morning and this was when he decided that he wanted me to call the manager and wake him up to come down and cash his ticket.
So of course I start getting irritated and told him to go somewhere else then. So he kept asking why we wouldn't cash his ticket. I finally told him that if he wanted his ticket cashed so badly, then I would call the police and they could come down and cash his ticket for him. While I'm saying this, I'm picking up the phone dialing the police. (Works every time.)
He looks at me, grabs his ticket from the counter, and flicks me off as he's walking away.
Of course this just angers me more, but it's too early in the morning for me to start swearing at him in front of customers.
Why he couldn't wait a few more hours to cash his ticket? Who knows. All I know is that if you are bringing your big winner in to cash before the sun comes up, then you'd better turn around and go sit your ass in your car for a few hours, because we aren't a bank, and we don't have that kind of money so early in the morning.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Another Crappy Kid Story
Today we had another kid come in with his mother. This kid was about 5 years old and the mother must have decided that she didn't feel like watching him in the store.
This little brat decided that he would destroy everything in his path. He knocked things off shelves, opened up packages, and broke displays.
When one of the employees confronted the mother about this, she replied with "Oh, he's just a bad kid" and continued getting her coffee.
So the employee decided that he would charge her for the bags of peanuts and candy bars that this kid opened. What did the mother do? She decided to argue about it because she didn't think she should be charged, stating again, that he's "just a bad kid".
The funny thing about this was that there were 3 people sitting outside in this mother's car, so this crappy kid didn't need to come into the store at all.
This was one of those times that I wish I had been there, because I probably would have gone all Jerry Springer on this woman.
People, our job description is CASHIER, not BABYSITTER. Watch your kid when they are in a store with you. If they break shit, then YOU have to pay for it. And people wonder why prices are so high. It's because we have to make up for it when you get kids destroying products!
This little brat decided that he would destroy everything in his path. He knocked things off shelves, opened up packages, and broke displays.
When one of the employees confronted the mother about this, she replied with "Oh, he's just a bad kid" and continued getting her coffee.
So the employee decided that he would charge her for the bags of peanuts and candy bars that this kid opened. What did the mother do? She decided to argue about it because she didn't think she should be charged, stating again, that he's "just a bad kid".
The funny thing about this was that there were 3 people sitting outside in this mother's car, so this crappy kid didn't need to come into the store at all.
This was one of those times that I wish I had been there, because I probably would have gone all Jerry Springer on this woman.
People, our job description is CASHIER, not BABYSITTER. Watch your kid when they are in a store with you. If they break shit, then YOU have to pay for it. And people wonder why prices are so high. It's because we have to make up for it when you get kids destroying products!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Oh, Allow Me to Pick Up Your Trash
I was ringing at the register today when a woman came in with her little daughter. The kid was probably about 3 or 4 years old and was eating one of those mini muffins.
The woman gets her cigarettes, and starts gathering her stuff to go. Meanwhile, I'm watching the kid, who is extremely adorable, eat her mini muffin.
So then, the kid drops the mini muffin on the floor, onto our carpet. The kid reaches down to pick it up and the mom goes, "Oh, that's trash now, don't eat it."
I figured she would reach down to pick up the mini muffin that her kid had just dropped. But no. She picks up her kid and walks out the door, leaving the crushed mini muffin that she had just stepped on, crumbled all over the carpet.
The woman gets her cigarettes, and starts gathering her stuff to go. Meanwhile, I'm watching the kid, who is extremely adorable, eat her mini muffin.
So then, the kid drops the mini muffin on the floor, onto our carpet. The kid reaches down to pick it up and the mom goes, "Oh, that's trash now, don't eat it."
I figured she would reach down to pick up the mini muffin that her kid had just dropped. But no. She picks up her kid and walks out the door, leaving the crushed mini muffin that she had just stepped on, crumbled all over the carpet.
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