Monday, February 15, 2010

Little Things I Do To Get My Revenge

Sometimes there are little things, known only to me, and now to you, that I do to get my revenge on people that annoy me. Let's say you come in and manage to irritate me. A few things might happen to you.

1. If you are buying any sort of cake, such as a Hostess or Little Debbie snack cake, I will most likely crush it a little as I'm putting it in your bag. Same goes with cigarettes. I will try to smash them a little as I set them down on the counter. Anything that is even remotely squeezable will be squeezed if you say or do something to annoy me.

2. I may also give out the crappiest money I have in my register to you. Dollar bills that are torn or have mysterious stains on them will find their way into your hand. Even sticky coins or Canadian currency may fall into your pocket when I'm giving you your change back. And what do I do to ensure that you won't look down to see what kind of crap I'm handing back to you? I make sure to say something cute or funny so that you will be paying attention to me and not what I'm handing back to you.

Now I don't do this to everyone. Just to the people that piss me off. And that usually includes:

a. People that take too long to get change out of their purse or pockets. I wish I could just yell out at random to people in line that they should have their money ready when they come to the register. I (and I'm sure the people behind you too) don't want to wait twenty minutes for you to find your change. Have it ready, and get the hell out of my store.

b. Everyone makes mistakes, right? Well, I make mistakes many times mostly because I'm tired or if something else is on my mind. But I don't want these mistakes pointed out to me, because I always catch them on my own and fix it right away. If you see on the register that the total for your candy bar comes to $45.11, don't look at me and go 'Woah! Um, I don't think so!” in that bullshit attitude of yours. Because you know what? If I wanted to charge you $45 for a candy bar, I could. You just wouldn't pay it. But my point is, unless I'm standing there waiting for my $45 payment from you for your Mr. Goodbar fun size snack bar, leave me alone when you see me trying to correct my mistake. Don't stand there and point it out even more to me, because you will most likely receive one of the crappy items that I listed above.

c. Don't yell out a question to me from 50 feet away when I'm ringing up another customer. You are not the most important person in the store. I don't care if you are on fire, at least have the courtesy to wait your turn before you yell out to me. Asking 'Where is your coffee?' isn't going to get my attention when I'm with someone else and that coffee is staring at you right in the face. I really hate when people do that. What makes you so important that you can yell out in a crowded place and expect to get a response? They must do it other places and get treated like royalty, but not at my store. If someone does that while I'm there, they get ignored. They will get ignored the whole time unless they come up to the register and wait their turn patiently in line.

d. Your kids run around too much. Listen parents, a convenience store is not the place to let your kids run wild while you do some 'quick' shopping. Sure, some kids are very adorable, and I'm not talking about those types of kids because most of the time they are shy and quiet. I'm talking about the kids that run everywhere, pick up everything and want to wipe their snot or sneeze on the products in my store. And what's worse, if the parent isn't completely ignoring them, they are yelling at them so loud that it hurts my ears. I hate when loud people hurt my ears. It's much different than an ordinary loud sound. A loud voice yelling at a kid pierces through my brain because it's that bad. People. Take control of your unruly children in the store. Pretend you are at your in-laws house and that all of you have to be on your best behavior. Sometimes I think that some of these parents need to grow up more than their kids do.

e. You insult me or my coworkers. That goes without saying. If you make fun of us or piss us off, something will happen to your stuff. You may not realize it, but I will know what I did and that makes me feel ten times better. So screw you. And go pick on someone your own size.

Believe me, I know that people have bad days. I've had a lot of them myself. But I don't generally take it out on people I don't know and that don't deserve it. So why do it to a cashier? We're here every day to serve you, we don't get tipped like others do, yet we still have to deal with crappy people. Ever heard the saying 'I don't get paid enough for this?' Well, it's true in my line of work. There are some mean people out there that need to vent their frustrations everywhere. But, if that means that some asshole yells at me instead of going home and beating his wife or kids, then fine. Yell away, please.


  1. So that's why my Ho-Hos get crushed at the covenince store. LMAO, But man sometimes the clerk is in the horribly pissy mood and treats the customers like dirt, but snatching or getting mad cause we ask a question. I had a lady fuss me out because I had 3 creamers and she wasn't about to let me take any extras for my coffee. She told me I need to cream my coffee in the store. I told I was in a rush and she yelled out, "People still s!@$, that's why ya'll gotta pay so much cause of people like you." I was stunned and left the coffee and cream on the counter and walked out, only to call the manager later to tell him of the incident. I never went back.


  2. I encounter people like this all the time at my job and see much worse. I could tell a hundreds of stories. I really do believe that being a cashier is one of the hard jobs ever. I am a teller and it's same type of job just with a different name. I was a nice, kind, open and friendly person before I took this job. Now I just hate people and I find it sickening to work at my job now. I don't know if you feel that harsh about your job but I definitely know where you are coming from.

  3. OMG, you are my hero!! Seriously. I feel like this every single day. I have been a cashier at a grocery store, at Home Depot, a convenience store, at Pizza Hut, and now at a restaurant called Potbelly. And I have to say that I hate people so much now that I should be seeking counseling for it. If you ever need a guest blogger....*wink wink* LOL Thank you for being you!!!!

  4. stick it to the a-holes. I used to be a cashier so I know what you are talking about. I never sought revenge though, I wish I did.

    1. I cashier at walmart and I dont hate everybody but I have been getting alot of rude people lately and im fed up with it I think i might get some revenge :)

  5. Another thing to add to the list of stupid shit people do to cashiers: Throw money down on the counter (or anywhere that isn't the outstretched hand of the cashier.) When that happens to me, your damn change is going right where you put your payment in the first place. I'm not a f-ing stripper, so don't throw money on a counter like you do on the stage at Sugar's.

    I'm with you on the change counting BS....WTF do they think, they're going to win some kind of Exact Change Award?? Put that shit in your piggy bank at home and Coinstar the damn thing! I don't have time for you to count out 98 cents in pennies, and neither does the rest of the world.

  6. Love your blog ! I used to be a cashier when I was younger, and, like most jobs that require working with the general public, it is exhausting and thankless work. Thanks for making me smile.

  7. Is their ANYTHING that wont piss you of?

    1. Uh yeah, being polite, well mannered and not acting like a jerk!

  8. Let's biggest pet peeves:

    Talking on your cell phone while I'm ringing up your stuff and trying to tell you how much you owe me. I've had customers not even make eye contact with me during the whole transaction. Rude as hell.

    You KNOW you are going to write a check. How about filling it out--except for the amount--while you're waiting in line?

    Closing time is just that.....closing time. I'm not going to be very polite to you when you scoot in three minutes under and cause me to have to stay later to ring you up.

    Don't walk in three minutes after we open and expect me to be able to change a $100 bill for the $1.00 item you're buying.

    If your kid can't refrain from bouncing the play ball you're going to buy him, put the damn thing in the buggy. And if you can't control your child, that's also a good place for him.

    Complete your shopping before you have me ring up your stuff--don't hold up the line because you "just remembered you needed thus-and-so". I can't cash out anyone else until your transaction is complete.

    I've worked with the public most of my life, and it has left me with an intense dislike of people in general. And it also makes me try very hard to be nice and understanding to any cashier who waits on me.

  9. I am sure you enjoy little acts of revenge, but at the end of the day the real issue is that you are working in a convenience store. Maybe you should get some more education and seek more satisfying employment elsewhere.

    1. Why don't you go fuck yourself you arrogant asshole?

    2. Man you are so right! Only highly educated people in respectable careers deserve to be treated with respect and manners!

      Bet your cigarettes and snack cakes are always crushed...

  10. hahaha sounds exactly like me! i definitely do the crappy money thing, and also give them the most change possible if they're an asshole. Like, say their change is 56 cents. I'll hand them back one quarter, a dime, three nickles, and six pennies. hehehehe

  11. I work at a supermarket. I get terribly rude customers all the time. I once had a lady literally snatch her receipt out of my hand, I was polite and I had done nothing wrong. I have had a customer say "Oh I forgot something, I'll quickly go get it." She came back 15 minutes later. I have customers who are on the phone and don't say anything to me and get annoyed when I have to tell them the total of their purchase, extremely rude. I have customers say to me "I'm in a hurry, please be fast". or "I have a doctors appointment in 5 minutes, can you hurry?" No! It's your own fault for not a)shopping fast enough, or b) being late! So when I get pissed off at work (which is a lot of the time) I tend to do things.

    1) I squish their bread as I 'gently' place it in their bag.
    2) If they are buying tofu, it gets squished.
    3) The cap of the milk is slightly opened.
    4) I overpack bags (Our bags keep getting thinner).
    5) I don't ask if they would like the beef or other meat separate from the rest of their food (We have to ask, I've had a lady yell at me for not asking when I did, she wasn't listening)
    6) I take as long as possible to put through their payment.
    7) if you give me a large note (say a $100 note) and you only spend $45.15, I will give you back 3 $10 notes, 2 $5notes, 2 $2 coins, 1 $1 coin, a 20cent coin, 6 10cent coins and a 5cent piece. And then i will say, in a sickly sweet voice, "Sorry about the small change" and smile.

    So really, don't be rude to us. We are nice people and we have done nothing wrong to you, yet, so if you are polite to us, we will be polite to you.
    Stuff not to do:
    1) Instructing us how to pack bags is not nice. We know how to pack bags, we work at a supermarket.
    2)Don't give me your green bags after I have packed half your stuff in plastic (Plastic bags are free in our store). I will not repack what I have already packed.
    3)If you have two small items and the person behind you has many items, DO NOT hold your two items, because I will assume you are both together and start on the large transaction (because I don't see your items). So don't get mad at me for that.
    4)You can start unpacking your load when there is a metre gap between your items and the person in front of you, I can see where theirs stops, I'm not an idiot. And unpacking all your stuff once i have put through their payment, are you trying to hold up the whole store?
    5) Shove your Flybuys (or other rewards card) under my nose throughout the whole transaction, as you can probably see I am busy, half the time both hands are literally full. I will put it through at the end, calm down.
    6) If you swipe your own Flybuys (or rewards card) and LITERALLY SMACK MY HAND OUT OF THE WAY, I will be pissed off, and that is putting it lightly. Can you be any ruder? I mean really? Are you that impatient? Do you like hitting 18 year old girls? Don't be a dickhead, you think it saves time, but it just gets us mad.

    I get mad, yes, but is it warranted? Yes.
    Be nice to cashiers and we will be nice to you.
    I'm polite and courteous to everyone who comes through my checkout. But if you are rude or treat me badly, things will happen to your food..

  12. You clearly shouldn't be working with the public. People are not obligated to spend money anywhere and in this economy employers should be hiring "people persons" rather than thin-skinned, emotional individuals who drive away business.

  13. "my store" LMFAO, if anything the store is even less yours than the customers. And that customer may have wiped his ass with that dollar bill he's handing you, and he too may be laughing to himself.

  14. Why do people say that cashiers are uneducated? I am a junior in college and I'm a cashier at Walmart. I am working on my degree, yet I'm stupid because I'm a cashier? Come on now.

  15. #1-If I get canadian or damaged currency, I demand good american money.

    #2 I always use the self check lanes. I would never squish my own bread. Aren't you clever? You put yourself out of a job and saved retail alot of money!

  16. Expecting the ADULTS who come through my line to show me the same respect that I show them, is a far cry from being thin skinned. Whatever the reasons for our being cashiers, no human being has the right to treat us as subhuman. If your cashier is pissy, try taking into account that this person has dealt with hundreds of customers, possibly thousands of products, some very rude people, and is likely all out of the smiles and perk that you want in exchange for your presence (and money that we get very little of). Sometimes he/she just may not have another "How's your day?" left to give. Also, this person may be a full time college student, parent, have multiple jobs, or *gasp* an actual life in addition to working that job. The fact that we do continue to do what we have to in order to make our lives work, just proves that we are a strong bunch. That said, you customers need to get your s**t together. It would help if you keep in mind that your cashier is a living breathing human. They have lives and feelings, same as you. You guys buy a TON of stuff sometimes; and I don't care how fast your cashier is, you are not getting out of that store within a hot four seconds! If it took you an hour and a half to shop, there's a good chance that checking out will take a little longer than you might like. Another thing: Cashiers don't set prices. Don't get mad at us because a product seems over priced to you. The last thing I'll say is this: We're people; don't treat us poorly, and most of us will make the effort to treat you well even if we are exhausted. I'm happy to consider that you may have a busy life as well. We'll do best not to take our crap out on one another. Cheers!



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