Wednesday, March 17, 2010

What's That Smell? Oh, It's You.

What do you think my most valued item in the store is?

You might have guessed hand sanitizer, but no. While it is immensely valuable and useful, having things on my hands doesn't bother me as much as smelling stuff.

The item I can't live without? The air freshener can.

Over the years I've learned not to smell things or people. When I was a smoker, I lost my sense of smell so I didn't have to worry about anything. Once I quit smoking though, it was like a whole world of evil opened up onto my nostrils.

I can't believe some people leave their house smelling like they do. I smell everything from cigarettes, body odor, marijuana, body odor, perfume, stale beer, soap and body odor.

While I'm used to some of these smells, there are some that I try to run from as far as I can. Those being? The ones I can't identify.

We had a customer come in one time that was really weird. He was a tall guy and had the longest beard. Never said a word to us, but whenever he came in, I swear people passed out from the smell that came from him.

I've never smelled death before, but I think if I had to describe it, it was him. It was so strong that it instantly made me and others start gagging. I can't even explain it. It was like he killed an animal, shit on it, then killed another animal and pissed on it, then rubbed that whole concoction all over his body. And made sure not to shower for a month to let the flavors marinate.

This guy would come in once a week, and whenever we saw him outside we'd all start arguing about who was going to get stuck ringing him up.

The bad part; whenever he came into the store, other customers didn't realize it was him that smelled, so I'd watch as they scrunched up their nose, while assuming that it was probably me that smelled!

The last time I saw him, my co-worker got stuck ringing him up. He had some goopy food stuck in his beard that day, along with the smell. After he left, one of the customers started gagging because the smell from this guy usually stuck around for a few minutes. So my coworker went outside, and politely told the guy that he couldn't come in the store anymore because customers were complaining about him.

We never saw him again. My sense of smell wasn't that upset about it.

But my point? I'd like to kiss the person that invented air freshener in a can. Thank you, on behalf of all cashiers everywhere. It's something I use on a daily basis. After the smelly customers leave the store, of course.


  1. I totally agree! Like you I lost my sense of smell as a smoker, then quit years later and it came back! I always carry a small can of Lysol in my purse until recently - I found Yankee Candle makes a potent tiny purse spray in my fave scent - "fresh linen" ... The last office I worked in was dog-friendly and those dogs would fart like mad in my cube ... I constantly had to hit the Lysol! Industrial, Costco size, mind you!

  2. OK, that's just disgusting. I had a coworker who smelled awful and I always wondered why his boss couldn't have said anything to him. I was thankful he worked far enough away that I couldn't smell him unless I walked by to go to the bathroom.

    Stopping by from SITS.


  3. We've had coworkers that have smelled's rough working with them sometimes but no one ever said anything to them about the smell.

  4. I hate smelly customers!!! I feel your pain.

  5. Oh. I am sad for him. I wonder if he was homeless. Or his wife died. I often wonder when that happens to people what happened to them to make them get that way? Thank goodness you won't have to smell him ever again though. Phew!
    Stopping over via SITS.

  6. Oh man! I worked in a convience store once, and we had this one customer we called "The Pee Guy." He smelled like he peed all over himself, let it marinate in the hot sun for a day or so, peed again and then walked around that way.

    I'm not kidding you, I was once in my second floor apartment with the window open and I smelled pee. When I looked out, there he was walking by. It was seriously that bad.

    Stopping by from the LB Tea Party. I'm totally following you now. I bet we could trade stories all day. :)



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