Tis the Season

We had an incident last night but sadly I wasn't there. I did, however, see the whole thing on camera.

One of our regulars, I've talked about him here, came in drunk off his ass last night. The first inkling that the night shift girl had that he was drunk was when he ran over the curb TWICE trying to get into our parking lot.

The next was that he parked next to a pump that was clearly out of order (orange cones and bags covering it) and wanted to get gas there.

After being told he couldn't use that pump, he got back into his car and peeled around the pumps until he stopped at another one. That's when he decided to get out of his car, walk over to the broken pump and start kicking it. It was like he was punishing it for being out of order.

At this point the night shift girl called the cops. After he got done kicking the pump, he stumbled back into the store and tried to get some coffee. He ended up spilling it all over himself. By this time the cops had shown up, but they discreetly parked across the street in an empty parking lot so that they could catch him as soon as he left our parking lot.

Well, it took him awhile to leave our parking lot because he kept backing out and hitting things like our potted plants and trash cans. As soon as he left our parking lot, the cops got him.

Good.

I NEVER feel bad when drunk drivers get caught. Even if they are regular customers. Plus this guy always pisses me off cause he's a nutcase about the doughnuts he gets for his church.

I wish the night shift girl would have sold him his daily doughnuts before she called the cops on him, though. Now we're out 2 dozen doughnuts because he's probably locked up in jail.

But, at least that's another drunk off the road. Merry Christmas to him.

Tapper Drama

There's a regular customer that is really starting to creep me out.

I've talked about him before, we call him the Tapper.

A few months ago the Tapper's wife died. I didn't really feel bad for him because all he would do was bitch about his wife whenever he came in. After his wife died, he kept coming in and crying to us about it. I think he came in just to get sympathy about it.

Anyways, I had told him I felt bad for him and said I was sorry for his loss. Well apparently he took this as me having some type of interest in him. Ever since then, I've avoided him and now when he comes in he searches around the store for me.

If I happen to be near the deli counter making sandwiches, he will stand over there pretending to look at something. He never goes near the deli unless I'm there.

If I happen to be filling the cooler he will go stand over by the cooler doors and show interest in the gallons of milk for awhile.

This was a guy that used to get his stuff and leave...once his tapping OCD was all finished. Now he lingers.

The one thing he does now that really pisses me off is this: When I see him get out of his car, he will walk over to my car and look inside. He does this every.single.time.

It creeps me out. I want to say something to him, but I don't want to talk to him. I'm tempted to leave a note in my car window that says "Stop looking in my fucking car, you tapping piece of shit."

But I won't. My dad would get pissed and yell at me. I know this because I had written out this exact thing on a big piece of cardboard and was going to put it out there until my dad saw it and ripped it up.

I'm sure the Tapper is harmless, but it still gives me that eerie feeling. I try to avoid ringing him up anymore. You never know what he'll take the wrong way.

Me: Your total is $3.64.

Tapper: omg she loves me!!

So for now I will wait and see what happens, but if I see him anywhere near me OUTSIDE of work, I'm going to assume that he has now moved to creepy stalker status.

Returning the Cancer Sticks

A regular customer came in the other day and wanted to return three packs of cigarettes.

"I'm trying to help my wife quit smoking and she went out and bought these here last night, so I'd like to return them," he told us.

Normally we don't return cigarettes because we can't tell where the hell someone bought them and how old they are, but he was a regular customer so we said sure.

My sister walked up to the front counter with the cigarettes to do the return. She scanned the cigarettes into the register and they didn't scan. Since he claimed his wife bought them here, that was strange that they weren't scanning.

Upon closer inspection of these Marlboro Lights cigarettes, she noticed that they had a picture on them displaying some kind of warning.

I had heard that they were going to start putting out cigarettes with warning pictures on them showing what smoking can do to you, but I thought they had outlawed that for the time being.

Anyways, they kind of looked like this:



So my sister turns to him and asks, "Where did you get these?" She had noticed that on the side of the pack it said "Not for sale." I have no idea what that means, since we've never seen that before on a pack of smokes.

"Here. My wife bought them last night," he said, starting to get agitated. The once friendly face was now becoming mean and ugly.

"No she didn't," my sister said. "They don't sell these kind of cigarettes around here."

"So I can't return them?" he said, his face getting beat red.

"No, if you didn't buy them here, you can't return them here."

"Fuck this store. I'm not coming here anymore," he said and grabbed the cigarettes off the counter as he stormed out the door.

What pisses me off about this is that this customer comes in multiple times a day and is trying to scam us. When I did a Google search on these types of cigarettes with the scary packaging, it looked like these are only sold in other countries right now.

Just because you are a regular customer doesn't mean we will return whatever you want us to return. Go back to Singapore or wherever you got these things and get your money back there. Or better yet, people are always trying to buy single cigarettes right outside of our front door, so just stand out there for awhile and sell them that way.

Cashier's Thoughts

I don't know about anyone else that works in retail, but sometimes I wonder how many murderers I ring up in a day.

Seriously, how would I know if some guy just killed his wife and came in to buy cigarettes from me?

I see at least 500 people a day, there's bound to be a murderer somewhere in there, right?

And I don't mean the crazies, like this guy:



or this guy:



I'm talking about the strange ones...the ones that don't look you in the eye, the ones that are very quiet...the ones that just buy their shit and get the hell out. Those are the ones that I watch out for. We have a few of those types in the store.

I'm expecting one of them to come in one day covered in blood and wanting a pack of Lucky Strikes, breathing heavily from the adrenaline rush they got from stabbing someone 71 times.

If that ever happens, then I'm out of there for good.

I can feel something strange is going to happen soon. Is there a full moon coming? I'd better put some foil on to protect myself like that guy above. Maybe he has the right idea.

Torani Giveaway WINNERS

Okay, I used random.org to pick out two winners and those are...

Maria @ NailsMadeSimple.com

and

Katie.

Please email me at admin (at) confessionsofacashier.com and let me know your address so I can send you the coupon. If I don't hear from you within 48 hours, then you're shit out of luck. I'll just go to the next person in line.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! And remember, if you happen to shop at your local gas station or convenience store on Thanksgiving, don't tell the cashier how much it must suck to be working that day. Instead, buy them a lottery ticket. Or better yet, THANK THEM for being open and working that day.

Torani Flavored Syrups + GIVEAWAY

I received these the other day to try out. What are they? Thanks for asking! They are Torani flavored syrups to put in your coffee that are supposed to liven it up.

I don't drink coffee, but I decided to give the peppermint flavor a shot. I love the smell of coffee, but it's always tasted pretty bland to me and I don't like adding any milk or sugar to things just to get them to taste better. Tea, on the other hand, makes me get out of bed every morning. I drink it plain and absolutely love it.

Anyways, the box that these came in also came with a recipe book for things you could make with the different flavors of syrup from Torani.

I immediately went to the "Cocktails" tab and started looking through the recipes for alcoholic drinks. Dealing with customers every day has turned me into quite the alcohol connoisseur. They have a recipe called a Peanut Brittle Caramella that looks good but I didn't get that flavor of syrup in the package so I couldn't make it. Not until I buy the right syrup for it. Hmm...clever marketing tactic, Torani.

So I decided to get a cup of coffee at the store and throw a splash of the Peppermint flavor into it. Imagine my surprise when regular customers stood there and watched me do this and all because they had never seen me drink a cup of coffee before. I make it known that I am an avid tea drinker. And yes, when I admit that I'm a tea drinker, I get a lot of teabagging jokes thrown my way.

I'm not going to bore you with exact descriptions of how my taste buds bursted at the seams while reacting to coffee + peppermint flavored syrup, but I am going to say that it was actually quite good. I could taste the peppermint flavor and it made the coffee taste sweet.

I have discovered since that these flavored syrups can go in just about any drink. One that I will try next is called a Candy Cane Steamer.

But here's the good part! I've been given some coupons for FREE bottles of this stuff! And not the small, dinky bottles, either. These coupons are good for the BIG ones! This is good stuff here people!

To enter, just leave a comment below letting me know if you've ever tried this stuff before.

Two lucky winners will each get a coupon good for a FREE bottle of Torani syrup. Yes, just a coupon. You didn't think I'd send you a bottle in the mail, did you? With the outrageous shipping prices going on these days??

This giveaway ends on November 21, 2011 and the two random winners will be announced on November 22, 2011.

This Guy Needs A Bubble Bath

We had drama at the store the other day....and as usual, I wasn't there.

This customer came in to buy cigarettes. He looked like he was on something because he was moving around really fast and waving his hands in the air while talking quickly.

He paid by credit card and when he was told to "press credit or debit" on the screen, he continued waving his hands in the air until he finally reached down and touched the correct button.

Naturally this scared my co-worker, so she came in the back to tell my dad about it.

As the customer was walking away, he was swaying and almost fell into our wine rack. As he did this, a customer, who was in the store the whole time, got on his phone and called the cops at the same time my dad got on the phone to call the cops.

By the time the police showed up the man was sitting in his car. They ended up blocking him in with their cars so he couldn't go anywhere.

He was acting loopy with them as well and they asked him what was wrong with him. He said that he had forgotten his medicine at home and needed to take it.

Since it was obvious that he was on something, they ended up searching his car. And what did they find?

A prescription bottle with BATH SALTS in it.

I don't know about any other state, but in Ohio bath salts have been banned because just like everything else, some idiot decided that they got a high from snorting it.

So the cops ended up arresting him and thanking my dad and the customer for the "good bust".

Will people ever learn?