Monday, January 10, 2011

Counterfeit Money Pens

We used to get a lot of counterfeit money, but not so much anymore. But we do constantly check big bills to see if they are real.

For some reason, people get all defensive when we check their money. Why is that?

When I am handed a $50 or $100 bill, I will pull out our counterfeit detector pen, which looks like this:

For some reason, the people that give me problems about checking their money usually look like this:

Which means they could probably kick the shit out of me if I find out it's a fake bill.

So with trembling hands I usually check their money and am praying to the cashier gods that it comes out okay.

But most of the time I get middle-aged men that come in and give me a problem. When I pull out my pen, they will usually say something like, "Uhh, it's real. You don't need to be doing that." or "It's not fake, I just got it from the bank."

So-fucking-what if you got it from the bank, sometimes they give out counterfeit money too! Just because you're going through a mid-life crisis and have to act all manly with your $100 bill doesn't mean you have to give me shit about it.

However, I have to confess that I love it when the money comes up fake because these people get all freaked out.

I can always tell if they already knew it was fake, but most of the time they had no clue. So they will get worried and I will go on to tell them that I have to call the police and that the FBI will probably be involved.

This just scares them even more. Yeah yeah, I'm horrible. Whatever. I need to brighten my day somehow, right?

So this is why you should never question anything your local cashier does. He or she could easily hand you back your change, which could contain a counterfeit bill and then YOU would be the one stuck with it.


  1. So what do you do when someone hands you a counterfeit and they genuinely didn't know it was? That blows!

  2. I really do have to call the police and the customer then has to deal with them, even if they have no idea it was fake.

    For those customers that won't stick around for the cops, I still have to keep the fake bill and call them anyways.

  3. That's why I only deal in counterfeit 10s. Nobody ever checks those.

    (In case the feds are peeking at this, I'm kidding, of course.)

  4. Exactly. I'm a cashier in a small, rural town where half the people are related to each other and everyone is treated like family. How like family to rip you off with fake money!

    Also, we've been having issues lately with "counterfeit" money. We'll get $100 bills that were actually $5s, washed out and reprinted. Just like the counterfeit pen, the customers freak out when I hold a bill to the light to check for the security strip and hidden images. It's great.

  5. I hear the "I just made it today" as I check money

  6. LOL @ Liquor Store Clerk!!

    We don't have the pens at work -- too expensive for our cheap-ass corporate bigwigs. But I do check anything larger than a $10 bill with the light, and people get SOOOO pissed. (Which is why I consistently do it!! HAHA!!!!) I've never had a counterfeit bill, but I think it would be hilarious to bust someone with one.

    1. you think that would be funny?? what are you like 12 years old?

  7. The pens are useless....!! there is a new prodouct called a moneycop..the real money is printed with magnetic ink.... washed bills will pass pen test..

    Im a cashier as well

  8. Well, I think the reason why people freak out when you start checking their money is because some of them think that they’ll get in trouble if some of their money is counterfeit. But if you honestly don’t know that it’s counterfeit, then there’s no reason to freak out, right? In any case, I think counterfeit money tools are really helpful to avoid getting scammed by other people.

  9. "Why is that?"

    Counterfieting is a serious crime. People get nervous because there are ways an honest person could have given you a counterfiet bill. Such as an unscroupulous cashier giving it to them as you suggest.

    You have inspired me to get a pen of my own so that I can check bills given to me as a customer. Then a cashier doing what you suggest would find herself having to explain to the police how they gave out counterfiet change when she was in possesion of a counterfiet detecting pen....oops!



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