Monday, January 31, 2011

Evil Old People

Sometimes I get really bored, so I'll stare outside. There really isn't that much to look at, but many times I see a lot that makes me think. I do ponder this question often:

Why is it that old people drive such big freaking cars?

I mean, a cute little old granny like this:



pulls into the parking lot driving this:



This raises a few questions.

a) How can she see?

b) How is she going to get out of the parking lot?

While I still haven't figured out how they can see, I do enjoy watching them get out of the parking lot. I also like how these little old ladies can piss off other customers by taking their time backing their cars out.

These old ladies also manage to bump into other cars around them. Why? BECAUSE THEIR CARS ARE TOO BIG FOR THEM TO DRIVE. If I saw a little old lady hit my car, I'd probably kick her in the throat and steal the mints from her purse.

I think all old people should drive Smart Cars.




They're small, efficient and can handle the crappy driving of old people.

Either that, or they should have to retake their driving tests every few years once they hit a certain age.

Which idea do you like better?

11 comments:

  1. both are great! I've thought the same thing for many years - since the last time I saw my Granny and she drove me around Houston. Yikes! I think she'd really like a tiny car, if she was still driving. (Thankfully the doc told her no more, she's too weak from anemia and other issues.)

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  2. Smart Cars for the elderly. Genius.

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  3. My theory is that she or her husband, now deceased, bought it new. And yes, they can be annoying, and yes, smaller cars would probably be easier to maneuver. On the other hand, not all older people are crappy drivers.

    That is a cute granny!

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  4. Both? I like both. When I get too old to drive my mini-van, I'll get a Smart Car. And paint it red.

    You know that song, 'Little Old Lady from Pasadena'? That will be me. So I guess no Smart Car for me, huh? :-) But I promise to take a driving test every few years. If they can catch me.

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  5. I like the idea of old people driving the SmartCars. Too cute.

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  6. Actually, I don't want to see an old person in a standard transmission anything, even if the car is the size of a shoe. Let's just take away the drivers license of old people who can't drive.

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  7. My grandfather was able to renew his license through the mail up until just before he died at age 77. He was blind in one eye as a result of a childhood accident and had cataracts in the other that no doctor would touch because they didn't want to chance blinding his one "good" eye. I don't think he'd seen anything beyond blurry shapes for decades. Me thinks the licensing system needs a good overhaul.

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  8. I like the Smart Car idea!! 'Tis brilliant, miss...

    But you know I'm all for violent tendencies with the general public, so kick that old bitty and don't forget the mints!! I had garlic for dinner. xD

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  9. As a future little old lady, I will be damn sure to start saving up for a Smart Car or something similarly tiny.

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  10. When I'm a little old lady, I'm paying the young relatives (great-nieces or whomever) to drive my wrinkly ass around. It'll be my car, too, so I'll get to pick the music. This little old lady's crankin' up Snoop Dogg!

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  11. I know my grandparents hardly ever bought a new car. In fact, the last car they had (before they had to hand over their licenses as they were *lethal* on the roads.. Alzheimers and all) was a Mercedes from the early 90's. A massive thing. To them, cars were costly things that you didn't swap until they completely broke down. So they'd end up driving old cars that were hardly space-efficient!

    What I don't understand how they let my gran keep her license even *after* she left her house to go see my cousins, then forgot where she was going mid-way, forgot where the break was and how to change gear... :P

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