Wednesday, January 19, 2011

This Thing Here Is Dripping

Why is it some people's goal to piss me off in the morning? I'm fucking tired, people, at least wait until the sun is out to mess with me.

I had this customer come in the other day. He was my first customer of the day, actually. He was walking up to me carrying two plastic bottles of Arizona Iced Tea. However, he was holding one of them sideways and I could see that it was dripping all over the floor.

"What are you doing?" I asked, knowing exactly what he was doing.

"This one is leaking," he said, still holding it sideways. "I wanted to show you."

"Okay, well you could have just told me it was leaking instead of showing me. Now you're making a mess and I have to clean it up." God, I hate people.

"Sorry, I just wanted to show you what it was doing."

"I know what a leaky bottle looks like. Turn it back up and stop spilling it everywhere," I said, now thoroughly pissed off.

I think my customers take pleasure in seeing me get angry. I wonder what happens when this guy is at home: "Honey, the baby shit itself. Let me hold up the diaper so you can see it."

Bottom line: Don't make a mess that I have to clean up. If you tell me it's leaking, I'm probably going to believe you. Don't hold it up to show me. I'm not the idiot here.

I was hoping he'd trip on the mess on his way out, but I could only be so lucky.


  1. Ha. I'd have told him that I was sorry and that he could have that one free. Ring up one, put both in double paper bag and see if he makes it to the car!

  2. At least he didn't slam it down on the counter and spray sensitive, expensive equipment with it. Then again... that might not be such a bad thing if it fries something like the lottery machine.

  3. Oh man too freaking funny. The amount of ninsense out there is enough ti make you want to exit from planet earth.

  4. some people have an excuse to never leave home. sad thing is alot of these people reproduce and raise their kids in be "model citizens" wink, wink

  5. I sure wouldn't mind if the lottery machine was fried. :) Almost on par with people who drop glass drinks and then walk away.


  6. I've missed your sarcasm and wild cashier tales!!! I haven't been online much last few months...glad I have time to get back at it!

  7. "I think my customers take pleasure in seeing me get angry"

    It would seem that is a common event.

    This person had no goal other than being helpful. Maybe he failed to do it in the best way to please you. You taught him not to try.

    Was that you goal?



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