Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The God Guy

We name some of our regular customers so that when we're talking about them, we know who we're referring to.

There's this one customer we call the God Guy. We call him this because he used to leave religious literature on our counters every morning. I'm not sure why he stopped that, but he still comes in every day to buy stuff. He used to be cool, until I caught him semi-stealing.

He gets a cup of coffee every morning, but sometimes he brings in his old coffee cup to get the refill price.

One day, I saw him walk in with nothing in his hand. When he got his coffee, he came to my register to ring it up.

"Is that a new one or a refill?" I asked him.

"It's a refill," he said, looking down at the counter.

"A refill? I didn't see a cup in your hand when you walked in," I said as I scrutinized his cup to see if it looked old or new.

He looked up sharply at me. "It's a refill," he said, and I swear I saw the devil staring back at me. I've never gotten the evil eye like that before.

"Okay," I stuttered as I rang him up. After he left, it bugged the crap out of me, so I had to go look it up on tape to see if I was right. Sure enough, he walked in empty-handed, took a brand new cup and passed it off as a refill.

About an hour later, the God Guy came back in. He walked up to me.

"I need you to charge me for the full price. I didn't have a refill this morning, I had gotten a new cup."

"So you lied?" I said, pissed because I hate when people do that shit.

"Yes, please charge me for a new one."

So I did. But now he can't be trusted. I make sure I keep an eye on him whenever he's in the store.

And before anyone says or thinks "At least he came back in", that's bullshit. He shouldn't have stolen in the first place.


  1. Not that this is an excuse but that guy sounds like he's fighting the devil inside him!

  2. I was just going to say that, Jeanette. Obviously the first time he came in, the devil on his shoulder won out, but afterwards the angel wouldn't let up so he returned, just to shut it up. Lol!

  3. "And before anyone says or thinks "At least he came back in", that's bullshit. He shouldn't have stolen in the first place."

    lol ... that's true.

    He tried to save a few coins but ended up murdering his character.

    However, I still will commend him for making an effort to rectify bad behavior. Choosing to do the right thing is not always the most convenient choice.

  4. Not saying that this is the case, but perhaps he had driven to the store with an empty cup, and had actually believed he had refilled it rather than grabbing a fresh one. Upon returning to the car, he realized his mistake, and that's the reason he returned.

    I know on more occasions than I'd like to admit, I've paid with a five, believing it was a twenty.

    Later, realizing that I still have the twenty in my pocket, I head back to the store that I inadvertently short changed.

  5. No, he shouldn't have stolen it in the first place.

    But most people wouldn't have felt bad about it at all, let alone come back in later to pay.

  6. Yeah, that dude was possessed or something. Like a Jekyl Hyde thing. Freak!

  7. The speeerit of the Lawerd must have taken over hee-im.

  8. LOL Even the God Guys can't be trusted...what a world!

  9. He shouldn't have stolen in the first place.

    None of us should of "fill in the blank" in the first place. If everyone was convicted of their indiscretions like this person it would be a better world we live in.



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