Wow, You're Such a Good Mother

I was stocking Red Bull yesterday when two teenagers came in and walked towards the back of the store. Of course they looked at me when they walked in, and I quickly became suspicious when I caught them glancing at me again while standing behind a rack of snacks.

I ran into the beer cooler to get a better look at them through the cooler doors and sure enough, they were shoving stuff into their pockets. I raced outside to confront them.

"Did you need help with something?" I said, while glaring at the two.

"Nope," was the response of the older one, who then started texting on his cell phone. The other one turned to walk away from me.

"Empty your pockets," I replied.

"What for?" said the younger thief.

"Because I said so. Empty your pockets or I'll do it for you." By then we were near the front of the store. They both emptied their pockets and set everything they stole on the front counter. I don't know how, but they had shoved a bunch of beef jerky, peanuts, oreos and nutter butters in their pockets. "I'm calling the police," I said as they set the last of their loot on the counter.

The two turned to walk out the store and I followed them. They walked towards a beat up shitty looking car with a woman inside. Once they got in the car, I approached the woman. "These kids were caught stealing in our store. I need you to stay here until the police get here."

She looked a little rough around the edges, and gave me an evil glare. "My kids don't steal," she spat as she quickly put the car in reverse and pulled out. I couldn't do anything but get the license plate, so that's what I did.

The police ended up finding them, and when I looked back on the security cameras, I saw that the woman (their mother?) had come in at the same time as the kids and was distracting the other cashier by asking for directions while her kids stole everything they could.

So the cops arrested the older kid (he had a warrant out for his arrest) and gave the younger kid a ticket for stealing and the mother a ticket for obstructing justice. We're going to hand over the security tapes so they can try and prove that she was in on it with them by trying to distract the cashier.

Fine example of parenting, Mom. You've earned yourself an award. Be proud, I don't give these out to just anyone!