Underage Morons

The best part of my job involves the idiots that come in trying to buy beer or cigarettes when they aren't old enough. It's funny how they come in to the store all hopeful but then once they are done dealing with me they don't find the situation funny anymore.

We get these probably once a week, sometimes more on the weekend.

First, I'd like to talk about the ones that come in and ARE old enough, but don't have their ID. How the hell am I supposed to know that you turned 18 a few days ago? Just because YOU know you're 18 doesn't mean you shouldn't bring your ID in anymore. And then you have the nerve to get bitchy with ME because I'm carding you.

Listen you moron, I'm just doing my job. I don't give a shit whether you leave the store with or without your cigarettes or beer. It doesn't benefit me either way if you get to smoke or drink. I've heard all the comments before, you are not telling me anything new. So while you get all huffy and puffy about not being able to buy something without an ID, you are making yourself look pretty damn stupid.

One time, I had a girl come in to buy cigarettes. She handed me her ID, and the picture was that of a different customer that always comes into the store. So I told her I couldn't sell them to her, and she proceeds to argue with me. I was positive that this wasn't her in the ID, so I just told her no and she cussed me out on her way out the door. But she was cussing me out WITHOUT her precious cigarettes. Hah!

Another time I refused to sell this punk some cigarettes, so he got back in his car, pulled over to where my window was, waited until I looked, and then proceeded to flick me off and peel away. He actually peeled away in his car. Like I was supposed to be all scared that he was some badass. 'Oh my god, his tires squealed! Damn, I should have sold him those cigarettes.” Please. Just go back to your mommy and keep stealing the smokes from her purse.

It's funny how the people that buy beer don't even get as mad as the cigarette brats. Probably because everything knows you will be carded for beer, but cigarettes aren't that big of a deal. Bullshit they aren't. One of the people that used to work with me got busted for selling cigarettes to minors. She carded them and everything like she was supposed to, but apparently they faked the IDs. And unluckily for her, there just happened to be two agents outside that were sitting in their car trying to catch underage sales. That employee ended up being fined $1000, so yeah, that's why I don't care if you get your beer or cigarettes.