Screw you. Don't come up to the register with a bag bursting full of doughnuts and tell me that you're buying 'two tiny little ones' (your words). Smashing together a cinnamon roll and an apple fritter does not create one doughnut.
You must have crammed at least 6 of them in there, because I noticed that the bag was about to break. I wish it would have, spilling your dirty little secret all over the floor.
I tried to peer into the bag to see what you really had, but you hugged it closer to your body and soon a glazed doughnut peeking out was sticking to your chest.
How surprised you were when your 'two tiny little ones' cost you $6.50. How surprised I was when you didn't even argue the price. Maybe by then you had realized the error of your ways.
I hope you have fun shoving all those doughnuts in your mouth. Maybe you'll even puke a little in your mouth afterwards from all that sugar.
Just writing a little note to let you know that I don't want to see your puffed-out doughnut-face in my store again.
Hugs and Kisses,