Monday, June 28, 2010

Hurry Up and Take a Damn Bag

I have a routine when I work. Once I ring you up, I'll tell you your total. It is then that I will ask if you want a bag.

I usually get the bag while you are searching for your money (which you should already have out and ready, but never do).

While you are digging around for money, I will quickly bag your purchase, take your money, and everyone is happily on their way. It works so nicely.

It doesn't work, however, when I ask if you want a bag and you stand there thinking about it.

Do you really need to take 30 seconds to think about whether you want to put your shit in a bag or not? I watch everyday as some people even cock their heads to the side and crinkle up their nose trying to decide.

The problem with this is, you ruin my timing. While you are pondering life and whether you want paper or plastic, I am half bent over on my way to get you a bag and when I have to stop in this position waiting for your answer, it hurts my back, as I've said before.

And when it hurts my back I tend to purposely smash your food items as I'm eventually placing them in your precious bag.

I think I'm going to make a checklist of all the things you should have ready before you get to the register to checkout. Then for a week straight I will place them in everyone's bag like little flyers, so once they get home they can read and prepare for their next time.


  1. hahaha, I love the idea of the flyer. it's even worse being in line behind the stupid people that have to think about life, and where in the hell their money is.

    Makes you kind of wonder if it takes them a long to to poop. just sayin

  2. I always feel bad for the people that have to be in line behind these idiots. After awhile I start hearing loud sighs from the crowd and lots of feet shuffling going on. :-D

  3. that's the kind of person I'm always standing behind in line. I like your check list idea

  4. See, I normally make a move for my stuff before they ask, to make it clear that I do not want a bag. I also always have my card out, so that the cashier clearly knows that I am not paying with that anachronism known as "money".

  5. Does anyone pay with a check anymore? I always get pissed off when I'm at the store and the person in front of me is writing a check.

  6. I used to work retail myself a few years ago in a horrible card store and I have to say, just about EVERYTHING pissed me off about customers. One time we had 50% off sale. The entire store - every window, the door, the walls - were covered in these horrible red and white posters that screamed in giant letters, "50% off Everything In Store". And yet still people would faithfully come up to the counter and ask, "So...does THIS have 50% off?" I started saying, "No ma'am, everything in the store has 50% off, except THAT." They mostly just sort of stared and blinked.

  7. LOL I'm the one who will be in line behind morons like those and start making snide comments in a not-too-subtle stage whisper. Tends to speed up the process for everyone, so I don't mind if it f's up my karma. LOL

  8. I am such a good do-bee in line - have my money/card ready, (if it's a check, all I need to do is fill in the amount since I wrote it up during my time in line), I mention I don't need a bag nor a receipt ahead of time and I'm good to go. I think it helps ENORMOUSLY to have worked in retail so you can anticipate the needs. Those who wait until the total comes up to realize that "OMG! I have to pay for this stuff!" cause me to get all stabby and roll my eyes at them. WTF?

    (Love your blog, read it every single day!)

  9. LOL, a little form that tells you how to shop and what not to do, hahaha.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate

  10. This is a great Public Service announcement because I'm probably one of those damn head-cockers taking my sweet ass time making a decision while your back goes out. So thank you for saying this.

    For what it's worth however, I always have my money out and ready.

  11. Hey Cashier, grow a pair and take the initiative! Just put their shit in the bag without asking them. By trying to be courteous you're wasting time and driving yourself nuts. Don't worry - they're used to being abused by clerks.

  12. Haha, just as I was reading this, a customer came up and decided to do that.. :P So I just ended up chucking a bag on top of his shopping and let him do it himself...


  13. This reminds me of customers who will buy one tiny little thing, and I will ring it through and what-not. Then, after everything is done and I'm waiting for them to move so I can ring the next customer, they just stand there, staring at me. After about 10-20 seconds, they do a big sigh and say "Can I have a bag". I hate that. Why do you need a bag for a chocolate bar?



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