Hurry the Hell Up!

This week has sucked. I've felt like a grumpy old man sitting on a park bench that tries tripping people with his cane.

It was a week filled with waiting. I am not a patient person. I am constantly giving people the finger while driving, as well as flicking off customers behind the register. I am out of control this week.

I decided to record how many minutes I actually stood there waiting for people to find their change, whether in their purse, pockets, shoes, or butt crack.

From Sunday to Wednesday (okay not actually a week, but who cares) I waited a total of 24 minutes. While that doesn't seem like a long time to you, it is. Trust me. I wanted to take one lady's purse and empty it all over her head so she'd have a better chance at finding her money.

I did everything I could to hurry these people along; drummed my fingers loudly on the counter, sighed obnoxiously, as well as stuck my hand under my shirt to itch my armpit, then take that hand out to grab their money. Nothing worked.

Except this:

I walked away from the register.

I learned this trick long ago and couldn't believe I forgot about it. While these idiots were busy searching for their pennies, I decided to walk away and pretend to go do something else.

That's when these people magically found what they were looking for. When they realized I wasn't going to stand there and wait and that they NOW had to wait for ME, well that was a different story then.

So if you are ever at the register and notice that the cashier has walked away, that means you're taking too long. If you're in my store and do this, I'll make sure you get back money that has boogers on it.