Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Please, No More Garlic

I don't know what people eat or bathe in, but some of them reek when they come into the store.

There's this one guy that comes in and he always smells heavily of garlic. I hate the smell of garlic. It's almost as if he rubbed his body in garlic. Maybe he did, I don't know what kind of kinky stuff he's into at home.

The sad part is that this guy is really nice. But I barely get to talk to him because of the garlic smell. You would think with the amount of beer he drinks he would smell like a drunk, but no. Do they make a garlic-flavored beer?

When I quit smoking I gained my sense of smell back. Sometimes I'd like to smoke again, or at least stuff a cigarette up my nose so that I don't have to smell some people.

If I had to choose, I'd probably prefer the smell of a dead skunk that got shit and pissed on by a bear and puked on by a deer. I'll take anything but the smell of garlic.

My coworker used to come in to work smelling like it. I told her she couldn't eat that stuff anymore or I wouldn't be able to work with her. I can't concentrate on giving my best customer service to people if the smell of garlic is lingering in the air.

I'm going to invent a contraption for cashiers that will block any rancid smell that comes into the store. I'll make millions because there are a lot of smelly people in the world.


  1. He is probably like my mother and east garlic raw. I always have to remind her to brush, brush, brush and gargle, gargle, gargle.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate

  2. If ever there was a rash of attacks by vampires in your immediate area, Mr. Garlic Smell would be safe.

    Maybe he has inside information on the bloodsuckers' whereabouts, and is preparing accordingly.

    If he starts carrying a wooden stake as well, it might be time to move on to a different vampire-free town.

  3. I love garlic, but hardly ever bathe in it.

  4. I have to agree there sure are a lot of smelly people out there.

  5. I just have to say that the Google Ads that accompany this post are pretty hilarious.

  6. I've noticed though, that people who drink heavily always smell funny the morning after. To me, its a garlicky, sausage-type smell, like they raided the nearby deli and ate all the pepperoni or something. And the drunk could've eaten nothing but flowers and perfume the night before, but would still smell like garlic sausage the next day. So maybe that's what you're smelling? Either way, poor you!

  7. That would be some kind of million dollar invention! We sometimes have people come into the shop I work in that, I swear to God, smell like ass.
    No, seriously. I just try to hold my breath and not talk to them except to mutter...'soap much?' and 'JC, would you get what you're getting & get the hell out already?'
    Gah, some people are so inconsiderate.



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